June 30, 2012
     Today was a great Saturday. Bible Study this morning was wonderful, as usual. I just took it easy, had a little soup for lunch and took a nap. Got a haircut this afternoon then Dorean and McKenzie came over to watch movies for awhile. We watched Hop, a cute move about the Easter Bunny. If you have grandchildren you have probably seen it.
    I had another nose bleed this afternoon. I don’t know what brings them on but I hope it is something that can be controlled. There is no warning when it is going to happen I just feel something running in my nose. I guess I’ll have to carry a Kleenex in my hand all the time. Just another inconvenience of getting radiation. There are so many.
     The following is from a card sent to me by a dear friend. She sends me a beautiful card every week either by e-mail or snail mail. She has been going through her own battle with cancer and her testimony is such a blessing to all who know her.

Difficult things can cause us to ask, “Why did this happen?”

But if we’re trusting in Christ we never need to ask,

“How could He let this happen?”

God may never reveal all His reasons to us,

but He has revealed His character to us.

His character assures us that

He never makes mistakes, is never uncaring,

and that He never separates Himself from our need.

The need you face is great, but the grace

that is yours in Christ is even greater.

May your heart and your faith stay fixed upon Him

as you go through this difficulty.

Be assured that He is holding your hand

and will not let you go!

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed.

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you

with My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NIV

     Have a lovely week end.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 29, 2012

    10 down 20 to go 2 weeks down 4 to go!

     Friday, I love Fridays! It means I get two days off from radiation. My mouth is getting  uncomfortable with sores in many places. The worst is at the back of my throat and along the left side of my tongue. It is getting hard to swallow anything but liquids. I tried to eat an orange when I came home this morning and I couldn’t get anything down but the juice. I had soup for lunch and the hot liquid felt good in my mouth but hard to swallow. I can’t imagine what it will be like in 4 weeks. I am hoping that these sores will clear up before more come. The mouth washes are supposed to help with this, I am thankful I don’t have to go through this without them.

     Today in the machine was truly a blessing.  Prayer today was “praise and thanksgiving.” I had what I’m calling, a “holy epiphany” while praying and praising God. I was praising and thanking Him for what Jesus did on the cross for me. He went through all that because He loved me and wanted me to be able to spend eternity with Him. I know I have believed and talked about what He did on the cross for many years but He gave me an illustration today that made it more personal to me. While listening to the noise of the machine and my Christian CD of Aaron-Jeffery playing over the noise, it came to me that because of my love for my girls, I would be willing to climb into that machine everyday for the rest of my life if they didn’t have to go through this themselves. Tears were running down my eyes as the reality of how that compared with what Jesus did. My sacrifice would be on such a miniscule proportion to what He did that it isn’t much of a comparison, but it did bring it home to me. All this was an   amazing blessing to me and the time flew by and ended before I could get to all my praise and thanksgiving to Him.

     When I walked out of the movie “Passion of the Christ” I said to my son-in-law, Daniel, that I feel like I was actually at the crucifixion. The thought popped into my head clear as if someone had said it out loud, it said, “You were, your sins were there as Jesus paid for them.” It dawned on me that the very worst of who I am was there and He suffered for me anyway.

     The picture tonight is of my Jerusalem stone that I take into treatment with me. If you don’t remember my former explanation here it is. Billy was in Jerusalem a few years ago. He does a lecture at The Holy Land Experience of the Jerusalem model that is there. While in Israel he did a lecture on the model that is there. It is larger than the one at THLE and is outdoors. The  gentleman that usually did the lecture graciously allowed Billy to do it for him. He was not a Messianic Jew but while Billy was doing the lecture he scratched the cross into this piece of stone and gave it to him. He told Billy that he was very impressed with what he said in the lecture. The stone is meaningful only because it came from Israel and from the place where  Jesus actually walked. It has no power, it is just a stone. It is also a testimony because I have had the opportunity to tell people about its meaning to me.

     I am posting this early because I will probably want to go to bed early tonight. We have to take Billy’s car over to Deanna’s so they can borrow it to pick up Matt and his three brothers tomorrow at Ocala. The were helping Matt’s twin brother move from Colorado to Ocala.

So good day, my friends. God bless you all.

     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 

June 27, 2012
       At last, Dorean figured out how to post a picture. I will have to catch you up with some of our pictures but tonight I have the latest. Omar, one of the techs at radiology took this picture with my phone for me. Yes, that is me in that garb. The designer gown was designed my some psychopath that thinks comfort and beauty is not fit for hospital wear. It has 3, yes 3, sleeves in it. You put it on backwards and put your arms in two of the holes then the third is hanging in the back and you pull it around to the side and slip your arm into it. When I get into the room with the machine I take my arm out of the 3rd sleeve so the gown can be pulled down so the radiation can get to my neck and clavicle area. That’s all the information I have on the lovely gown. The blue ring on my tummy is oval shaped and soft rubber for me to hold onto because the table is not wide enough for the arms to rest on it. My rock is in my right hand but doesn’t interfere with me holding the ring. The mesh over my face is the famous mask that was made just for me. You could call it couture since it is one of a kind. It fits very tightly over my face and goes past my head and is attached to the table so there is no way I can move my head. The blue pillow like thing under my head was also made to form to my head. You can see a little of the machine that I am about to slide into. The medieval tortures had nothing on modern day medicine.
     The day started out raining but cleared up in late afternoon. It was good to see the sun again.
     I went to the acupuncture doctor this afternoon. He is very nice and I hope his stuff will work for some of my side effects. I sure do get relaxed while I am there. I was wondering if I would be able to drive home, but I made it.
     I am having some trouble with my nose bleeding off and on during the day. I had to stuff some Kleenex in my nose this morning for RT and again this afternoon at the doctors. It will just start running and won’t stop for awhile. Naturally it is on the left side so I figure it has something to do with the radiation. I’ll have to talk to Dr. Manon about it on Monday.
     This is something that was on a get well card.

With God,

every day is a day

to hope for the very best — 

to believe our prayers

are being heard,

to have faith

good news is on its way,

and to know

that anything can happen

between yesterday

and tomorrow.

     Good night and God bless.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 26, 2012
     7 down 23 to go.
     It is raining constantly and has been for days. There is a tropical storm front going through and we haven’t seen the sun for about a week. This is a good thing for me since I can’t get sun on my face, like a vampire I only come out on overcast days and nights.
     After the treatment I had an appointment with a dietician. We had the best time talking for about 2 hours. She did give me some ideas about how to get in enough calories to keep from losing weight. I don’t like the idea but they are telling me I have to do it. I was counting on this opportunity to lose weight because you always lose during radiation. I may try to sneak in a pound or two loss along the way.
     I am starting to get some little bumps in my mouth and along my tongue. They are like the “lie bumps” we sometime get on our tongues. My throat is also getting sore a little. I use my gargles as often as I can, but it is hard to work them into my daily routine.
     Yesterday I met with Dr. Manon. He always greets me with a big smile and a hardy handshake. Yesterday he said, “How in my favorite patient today?” I‘m sure he says that because I made a baby blanket for the baby they are expecting next month. He said he will bring a      picture of how his wife put it in the baby’s room when I see him next week.
     God has given me the opportunity to bring Him up to several people along the way.       Yesterday I got to talking to a lady in the dressing room after my treatment. She just had her last treatment for cancer in her spine, liver and some other place I can’t remember. She said she had brain cancer before and thought she had beat it, but it came back. We talked awhile and I told her how I prayed during the treatments and my schedule for each day. I told you the schedule before, but here it is again. Monday-family, Tuesday-our church family, Wednesday-our missionaries, Thursday-our country, the world and leaders, Friday-praise and thanksgiving.  The time goes by quickly. Anyway, she and I had a nice hug and said we would pray for each other. Her name is Marjory, please pray for her if you remember. Today I got to talk a little about the Lord with the Dietician.
     Billy went back to work today. I didn’t think he was ready, but he is a man and they can sometimes be rather stubborn. His throat is real raspy from the tubes they put down his throat to look into his stomach. He took some Honeygar (honey and vinegar) to make a hot tea to drink which is very good for the throat. All this rainy weather isn’t helping his throat either. I hope he gets better soon.
     It’s time to start getting ready for bed. I find that I am ready to go to bed earlier and earlier every night. I don’t seem to get much done during the day. By the time I get home from RT I just want to rest. Some days I can get a little done, like a load a washing or a little cleaning in the kitchen.
     Fortunately, someone made us a wonderful chicken pot pie for tonight and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks, Toni. We will be enjoying it for a few days. That was a great treat!
     I’ll tell you about my acupuncture visit tomorrow.
     Much love to all,
          Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

May 24, 2012
It has been a rainy “tropical storm fringe” day, rain constantly which is always needed in   Florida.
     Church this morning was a blessing, as usual. Billy was able to go but didn’t preach. Our son-in-law, Daniel, preached and did a wonderful job. Everyone was blessed. Donna sang a beautiful song, “No More Night” which David Phelps recorded. I had decided a while ago that I wanted it played at my funeral, which I hope isn’t going to be too soon. I cried the whole time and was greatly blessed.
     Due to the weather and Billy still in recovery we decided to cancel Bible Study tonight. We went to lunch at the Elephant Bar and came home to take a nice long nap. We are just chill’n tonight.
     Tomorrow I begin the second week of my treatment. I have the peace of the Lord knowing that this week will bring more possibility of some side effects. I am anxious to see what     wonderful things He is going to perform to get me through this week. It is exciting to be     waiting on the Lord and know that He is going to do something amazing in my life.
     I’m going to say good night early. I have my nightly routine to go through before going to bed.
     God bless you all.
Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 23, 2012
     There isn’t much news today. It was nice having Billy home on a Saturday. He was able to attend our morning Bible Study and get to see how good Dorean is at teaching it. He said he is very proud of her. She has his smart mind and she is using it for the Lord. This make us very happy and proud we are also blessed not only with her but with all of our girls. They are trophies of God’s grace.   
     Billy and I haven’t done much today. My ruptured disc in my neck is being aggravated by the position my neck is in during radiation and I have pain in the nerve running down my left arm. I took 1/2 of one of Billy’s pain medication, Endocet, and by 11:30 was very sleepy so he and I took a nice long nap. I haven’t been sleeping very well because of the pain so it was good to have a change to “catch up.” I am trying to get all my mouth washed done each day, but am not able to get them all in. I need to start earlier in the day, I guess.
     This is going to be short because it has been a very uneventful day. Other than Deanna, Matt, Rebekah and Rachel dropping by for awhile it has been quiet and I haven’t had to set foot out of the house all day. Not even to walk Annie. Billy has done that for the exercise he needs to get his strength back. This is my kind of day!
     It is good to hear from my readers. Thanks for reading, hope it is blessing you.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 17, 2012
     5 down  25 to go. 1 week down 5 to go.
     I am feeling very well. The left side of my face is beginning to swell a little and my left eye waters a bit in the morning. The knot under my left ear that has been there since surgery  was going down some but it is getting big again. I will have a consultation with Dr. Manon (pronounced Man yon) on Monday morning after radiation and I’ll ask him about that.
     Amanda, our granddaughter, found out that the baby, Colton, is breach and she is going to have to have a C-section probably sometime next week. Our family is keeping the area hospitals in business.
     I brought Billy home this morning. He’s doing pretty good. I have to keep him moving a little or he is just going to freeze up. He did eat some lunch, more than in the hospital so that’s a good thing.
     I managed to talk him into getting into the shower. He is still moving very slow, but not as slow as he was when he was hooked up to the IV stand and had to drag it along with him.
     Some of the kids are coming over tonight they wanted to know if they could bring food, but the fridge is full right now and I still feel like doing a few things. The timing of this was perfect, didn’t God know that? Another week and I might not have been able to be much help.
     I have planned out my prayer schedule while in the radiation machine (I have named it   Nagasaki) I take my own quiet instrumental music to play over the roar of the machine. I have a pretty good schedule. It is somewhat like it is at home, but I don’t have notes to follow along with because my eyes are shut and held closed by the mask. By-the-way, I found out today that I will take the mask home after my last treatment. They said some people put them on the wall and one person said they were going to put it in the driveway and run over it. Good idea!
     My schedule is: Monday– prayers for the family. Tuesday– prayers for our church and the precious people in it. Wednesday– prayers for our missionaries. Thursday– prayers for our country, the world and the leadership. Friday-praise to the Lord by thinking of every name I can remember the He is called and thanksgiving for the many blessing He has bestowed on me and my family. It is amazing how many names God gives Himself in the Bible. I can’t remember all of them but I was surprised at how many I did remember.
     I ordered a book today, a novel, on my Kindle that was written by a class mate of mine from high school. The title is Thunder in the Negev: the 6 day war. I can’t wait to start it so I am putting aside what I am reading now to start it.
     It is just 9:00 and I am very tired so I am going to go through my nightly routine and get to bed early. Perhaps the RT’s are finally getting to me or I may just be coming down from a very busy week. Anyway, I will talk with you tomorrow.
     Love you all, 
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 17, 2012
     4 down 26 to go.
     Hello and good night. That is how I feel about writing this blog tonight. It has been such a busy as all days have been since Billy went into the hospital. I don’t know when he will be able to come home. I guess it is a man thing because I’ve had 2 cancer surgeries, the first one I went home the same day and the second the day after. His was laparoscopic, 4 little incisions covered with band aids. It is a good thing men don’t have to have the babies, the kid would be going to college before he would be able to stand up straight. Anyway, I hope he can come home tomorrow because this is wearing the family out. Poor thing, he looks so pitiful laying up there in that bed with everyone waiting on him hand and foot. He will get a big laugh when he reads this, I hope.
     Anyway, I went to radiation this morning and then up to the hospital. At 1:00 I went to the acupuncturist for one and a half hours. He did a lot of work on me and when he finished I was so relaxed I felt like my limbs were spaghetti. I’m not kidding it was wonderful. I yawned all the way back to the hospital.
     Dorean came up and we went to get something to eat. If he doesn’t get out soon I am going to gain all my weight back because we are eating out every meal. I am so ready to get back into our old boring routine.
     I came home and had to take care of the trash for pick up tomorrow. I cleaned the litter box, too Annie out for a walk and fed her, fed the cat, carried out the recyclables. These are duties we usually share. I tried to pick up around the house, you know how things get when you are in and out in a flash and just drop things and let they stay where they fall. I still have a few things to do so I really need to say, goodnight. Please don’t think I have been complaining, I’m just giving you my day. I will get better. I know. How blessed I am that I am still able to do all these things. There are a lot of people in that hospital that I pass by their rooms every day that wish they could get out and have a day like I have had. I
     Radiation tomorrow then I have 2 days off. Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!
     Love you all, 
     Mary Margaret

PS: I did not edit this so I have no idea the number of mistakes I made. Please overlook them.

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 20, 2012
    3 down 27 to go!
     This was another busy day. Billy is still in the hospital. He had gall bladder surgery this afternoon at 5:00. He was back in the room around 7:00 and feeling pretty good considering what he had just been through. He was getting tired so we all left around 8:00. As usual we had a raucous good time with the family there. Alyssa fed him strawberry Jell-O and I keep the straw in his apple juice close by so he could drink from it. He said he could get use to that kind of treatment. Alyssa has always said she would take care of us when we get old. (She doesn't realize that we are already old.) While she was feeding him she said, “Papaw, get use to this because I’m not going to let anybody put you and Mimi in a home.” She is such a precious granddaughter. At 23 she is just a sweet, innocent and lovely as she was as a child. She is very pretty and friendly. Beverly and Tom love her and she loves them. At Beverly’s 70th birthday party she got to dance with Tom and got a big thrill out of that. They call each other their dance partner. So cute!
     I had another RT this morning. Going from home to Billy in hospital then to my treatment and back to his hospital. Amanda was there when he woke up and he said it was really something to wake up and see her sitting on the couch. She was there all day and her baby is due in 3 weeks. I don’t know how she does it. She is going into some form of medicine,   probably nursing, and has been going to school so she knows a lot about the things going on there. She is like her sister, very special. They must get it from their mother, Dorean. Out girls have great children, so sweet and good to their Mimi and Papaw.
     I came home and had to take care of the dog and cat. Did my dental stuff. Now I am going to finish this and go to bed. I am doing fine. My face is getting a little red on the left side, I keep putting my Aloe Vera plant on it and it feels better. It is warmer than the other side of my face and neck so I guess the radiation is starting to build up. I may be getting a little more tired at the end of the day, but that may be because of all I am having to do since Billy isn’t home.
     God is blessing and I have no complaints. I  am even getting use to the mouth piece I have to wear for treatment. The time goes quickly and I have this time to pray for so many people and things. That is a blessing! Also, it is good that Billy went through this early in my treatment because if it were later, I might not be able to do what I am able to do now. He takes care of us is a wonderful way. Thank you, Lord!
     It will be good to have Billy back at home. Our little Annie, our doggie, misses him and waits for him to come in the door after I get home. She sleeps next to him under the covers. The cat, Sassy, sleeps on my pillow. She  missed me when I was in the hospital. We love our “babies.”
     So good night, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 19, 2012
     Hello dear friends. Today was a very eventful day in the Jones family. It began with a phone call at 5:00am. It was my husband, who I thought was perhaps in the bathroom since he didn’t answer the phone on his side of the bed. His first words were, “I’m alright.” having just been awakened at 5:00am and hearing this coming from his voice that obviously was not in the house was a bit of a shock. He explained that he was having what seemed like serious indigestion so he looked for some Tums and not finding any in the house he got dressed and went to an all night drug store to get his Tums. When they didn’t help and his pain was getting really bad he decided to check into the ER at the hospital near us. He left the house at about 2:00am and didn’t wake me because he said he knew I needed to get all the sleep I could. They had given him an EKG and a MRI and he was waiting for the results. Of course, I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up and dressed and went to the ER to see him. That was around 6:00. I packed up my mouth washes and all I would need to go to the radiation treatment in a few hours. He was pretty drugged up with morphine by the time I got there. I stayed there until I had to leave for the other hospital on the other side of town 13 miles away. I had my treatment, which was actually shorter than the one yesterday. I took my own CD which I was able to enjoy along with my prayer time. The treatment was so short, in fact, that I didn’t even get through praying for each member of our family before it was over. I went back to his hospital and by then they had put him in a room. Amanda was coming in as I was and Dorean and Donna joined us shortly. Alyssa also came and Matt and Deanna came in later. Everyone’s comment was, “I guess Mom was getting too much attention, so you resorted to this.” It was funny that everyone teasingly said the same thing. We were joking around and having such a great time that the male nurse that was in the room said, “You guys need to learn to get along better.” He was having a great time with us.
     Not to make a long story even longer, the final outcome is this. He had an ultrasound before we left this evening and is going to have another test tomorrow morning (I have never heard of it before so I can’t remember the name) and I will probably be at RT at that time. The doctor came in and said he had a gall stone that was 3cm, which is rather big and he would do surgery tomorrow afternoon if the last test came out as he expected it would. It will be laparoscopy and he will have a short recovery. I hope I can be there because I have an appointment with an acupuncturist at 1:00 that I really need to keep, because he is going to help me with the side effects of the RT.
     We are thankful that it was not more serious than this. Our kids will have to take care of both of us if we don’t get back on our feet soon. Fortunately, I can drive myself to RT for awhile, until he gets up and going again. Someone needs to be in the room with him because he has a hard time hearing and understanding all the instructions they give him. People with accents are difficult for him to undterstand so he needs us as “interpreters.”
     It is never a dull moment around the Jones household and never has been. We enjoy the little times of quiet before the storm when we have them. God has given us such a wonderful life we can’t complain about the little inconsistencies we experience occasionally.
     This may be a jumbled mess of misspelling and sentence fragments, but please overlook them. I have had to type this quickly because I have much to do to get ready for tomorrow.
     Please keep the Jones’ in your prayers.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 18, 2012
     1 down, 29 to go.
     The first radiation treatment was this morning and there really wasn’t much to it. They showed me the process of checking in. They gave me a card that I scan to let them know that I am there. They will come to get me and I check the computer room to be sure that it is my picture and records that are on the screens so I don’t get someone else’s coordinates instead of mine. They take me to the radiation room, I guess that is what they call it, I’ll have to ask. The machine looks like an MRI or CAT scan, a big doughnut with a table. I got on it and they gave me the mouth piece to put in my mouth, I got “strapped down” with the mask over my face. The mask is tight but not uncomfortable. When they took it off I had the impression of the net on my face. Billy thought that was funny. It faded after a short while. They played loud music the whole time I was in there. I think I will take my own CDs for the rest of the time. I had my Jerusalem stone in my hand and prayed the whole time I was in the machine. It does help the time to pass. I couldn’t feel, see or hear anything. There were some bright lights that seemed to go across my head, twice.
     As I was praying I found things to thank God for. He chose me and knew before the foundation of the earth that I would have the trial of MCC and would be in the very place I was in at this very time. I thanked Him that I was in the place He wanted me to be in at the time He wanted me to be there, right there in that machine getting radiation on my face and neck. That was such a comfort, knowing that I was in the perfect will of God and that he was there with me and taking me through it all the way. It looks like I will be getting in plenty of prayer time which is a good thing.
     I got a phone call from a dear high school friend this afternoon. Linda is one of the sweetest girls you could ever know. Yesterday we got an email from one of our best high school friends, Ron Hardcastle, he reminded us of things we hadn’t thought of for years. I am so excited about reconnecting with high school friends and discovering that so many are  Christians also. I am looking forward to the little reunion we will have in October. God has been good in letting me have contact with these wonderful guys and gals. We used to have such fun. High school in the 50’s was really the best of times. It was a great time to be growing up. It seemed so much safer than now. We had good clean fun and enjoyed each other for who we were, not for what we wore or how much money our parents had. Goodness knows I was among the lower income families in town, but they didn’t seem to know the difference. Wow, do I miss those times!
     I have to get on with my before bedtime routine now. It takes longer than it used to since I have several things added to my regimen. I’ll write again tomorrow.
     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 17, 2012
     Here I sit on a lovely Sunday evening thinking about what I will be doing tomorrow. At 9:30 Billy will be driving me to Orlando Regional Center, the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center where Jesus and I will be walking into the radiation area and where I will be getting my first radiation treatment and Jesus will be there holding my hand. In my hand will be a stone from Israel that a sweet Jewish man scratched a cross into. It is rustic but meaningful. It has no magical powers and certainly is not an icon to me, but it came from the place where Jesus walked, perhaps His foot even touched it, who knows? I just want to hold it as a physical representation of His presence for me.
     I am actually anxious to get started on this journey because I know there are many valuable things that I will be learning on the way. I just want to be open to new ideas that He will be teaching me and new lessons He wants to teach me. For sure, there are going to be some rough spots along the way, there always is when we are on a learning journey, but fortunately He is sovereign and knows my needs before they even occur and will be there holding the answers in His outstretched arms and open hands. I can see only great things coming out of this experience because The Great I AM is in charge of the whole thing. He is in charge because I want Him to be and because I have turned it over to Him and taken my hands off of the whole experience. I have also taken my hands off of my worries, my concerns and my fears.
     I do covet your prayers because they are an encouragement to me. When someone tells me they are praying for me it means a lot to me that someone would take the time during their fellowship with the Lord to mention my name to Him. It is a beautiful and precious thing. Please don’t think your prayers are not important, they are!
     It is time for me to call it a day well spent and get to my nightly routine with the fluoride treatment that I have to do and will have to do for the rest of my life. If this radiation doesn’t ruin my teeth I should have the healthiest teeth around in town.
     Goodnight.
     Love you all, 
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 15, 2012
     This morning Dorean and I went to se my Oncologist, Dr. Melos for a post surgery checkup. We had some questions for him about the radiation and he said that radiation was not a choice but a must have. Every time someone gives me materials on the dos and don'ts while undergoing radiation, the side effects get worse. He admitted that it will be like going through hell but it will give me a better chance of not having a reoccurrence of the MCC. This cancer is one of the worst out there and very hard to control.
     Oh well, God can certainly control it, He controlled the fiery furnace for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. What is a little thing like MCC against Him? He chose me before the foundation of the world to write my name in the Lamb’s Book of Life and He knew that I would be going through this trial and He knows the outcome for me. That is all I need to know and I will just trust Him for the rest.
      This is a prayer that a very dear friend, Ce Ce, sent me. She is British and such a love. Thank you Ce Ce, it is just what I need to get through the next 6 to 8 months.

And Now May The Lord Bless You And May The Lord Keep You.

And May The Lord Make His Face To Shine Upon You.

And May The Lord Give You His Peace.

May God Take You Through The Problem To The Provision.

May You, With Bold, Relentless Faith,

Go Straight Through The Problem And Receive The Promise Of God.

Let This Day And The Days That Follow Be Days Of Triumph And Victory

Because God Is A Faithful God Who Will Never Fail You.

In Jesus' Name, We Receive The Answer

     I feel the power and might in these words. They are Scriptural and poignant. So many  beautiful words of encouragement are coming to me from some unexpected places. They mean very much to me and give me strength to face another day. A friend I went to high school with, Sarah, sent me a lovely encouraging email with this little statement tucked inside it. “If God takes you to it; He will take you through it.” I believe that with all my heart. So God, take me through this all the way. Thank You,  for Your promises, for Your sovereignty, Your love and provision of all I will need to get to the other side of this trial. You will be more real and I will be stronger in You.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 12, 2012
     The  story is told of an  old man who lived on a farm in the mountains of  eastern Kentucky  with his young  grandson. Each  morning, Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen  table reading from his old worn-out  Bible. His  grandson who wanted to be just like him tried to  imitate him in any way he could..
     One  day the grandson asked, “Papa, I try to read the Bible just like you but I don't   understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does    reading the Bible do?” The  Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the  stove and said, “Take this old wicker coal basket down  to the river and bring back a basket of water.”
     The boy did as he was told, even though all the water leaked out before he could get back to the  house. The grandfather laughed and said, “You will have to move a little faster next time,” and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the old wicker basket was empty before he returned  home. Out of breath, he told his  grandfather that  it was “impossible to carry water in a basket,” and he  went to get a bucket   instead. The old man said,  “I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of  water. You can do this. You're just not trying hard enough,” and he went out the door to watch  the boy try again.
     At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his  grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got far at all. The boy scooped the water and ran hard, but when  he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, “See Papa, it's useless!” “So you think it is useless?” the old man  said “Look at the basket.” The boy looked at the basket and for the first time he realized that  the basket looked different. Instead of a dirty old wicker coal basket, it was clean. “Son,  that's what happens when you read the Bible. You  might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, it will change you from the  inside out.”
     Moral of the wicker basket story: Take time to read a portion of God's word each  day: it will affect you for good even if you don't  retain a word.
     Thought for Today: God's  Love is like the ocean, you can see its  beginnings but not its end.
     I really like  this story because I don't retain things too  well anymore...age may have   something to do with it but I figure my brain just gets overloaded! God  isn't concerned about my brain anyway; He's more  concerned about my heart.
     Love to you all and a special dose of love to Ann Towers who sent me this story of the Bucket of  Water.                                                                                                      
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 11, 2012
     Today was a busy day. I had multiple doctor appointments and two scans. It started with a nurse telling Billy and me about what to expect as far as side effects from the radiation. It was not a very nice picture, she went into more details than the literature I had been given. One of the things I had not been aware of was that the doctor wants me to eat 2500 to 3000 calories every day. Well, that ain’t going to happen. I have worked too hard to loose 40 pounds to put it back on in 3 or 4 weeks. She gave me information on several high calorie drinks to drink when my mouth is too sore to eat or swallow. I just sat there and prayed for God’ strength in advance to get me through what I was facing. It actually won’t be over when the radiation stops because the first 2 weeks after radiation I will still be in the aftermath of weeks 5 & 6 of the treatment. Then for 4-6 months after that my body will still be processing the radiation out of my body. It will take longer than I was expecting it to.
     To move on , , , after that I had to go to the Dental Oncologist and try on the stint for my mouth. It holds my mouth open and presses my tongue down. It fit so I went back to the radiology department. The two departments are in buildings side by side so it was a short walk to each office. Back at the radiology department I was on a very hard table and the back of my head was put in a warm soft pillow like thing that would form to the back of my head as it hardened. They marked a long black line down my chest which will not come off for a while. It is used as a marker for where the radiation is to shoot. I was also given a very tiny dot tattoo as a marker. (I told my granddaughter, Alyssa, who had tattoos that now her Mimi has a tattoo too or also, which ever works for you.) They then put a warm mesh over my face while I had the stent in my mouth and stretched it across my face. It took 10 minutes for it to harden then I went through a machine for an x-ray.  After that we walked down the hall to another machine for a CT scan. They had to put an IV in my arm and with my history of bad veins it wasn’t easy, it never is. Once again I put the stent in my mouth and they put the mask on and I went into the machine for 10 minutes. Finally, I was through for the day! The nurse took the needle out of my forearm and put a bandage on it. I walked out of the unit and looked down at my arm and it was swelling and turning black under the bandage so I turned around and went back to the nurse. They put cold compresses on it and some of the swelling went down, so I left again. We had a nice lunch and came home and by the time we got home the blackness had spread to almost the size of my hand.
     So much for my exciting day. I am looking at all of this as an adventure that the Lord and I are going to share. I am depending on Him and the prayers of my family and friends because I will need them both, very much. I’m counting on your prayers too.
     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 10, 2012
     No rain today! Good news, but we will be wishing for it to rain before too long because our lawns will be turning brown.
     Sorry not to have posted for a few days, but there wasn’t much going on around here. Friday was a “do nothing day.” I need one of those every once and a while. Saturday was good because of Bible Study and Dorean and I got to spend a little time together doing some errands. She stayed at the house awhile and helped me with my new phone. Yes, I am coming into the 21st century with my phone. I am not great with electronics but my girls are. I am learning how to use it little by little. I think I will really like it when I get the hang of it. I can text now!
     Today was special because we had church and it was a blessing, as usual. There was a    precious woman who escaped from Armenia in 1990. She was so interesting to talk with after the service. She had her son with her that is 8 years old. She talked about growing up and never hearing about God. Not until she came to the States. She said they were taught in school that Lenin was taught to be their god. They said pledges to Lenin and were taught that all things come from him and was given to them from Lenin. How very sad! There are people all over this world that are taught to trust in false gods and have never heard about the One True God of the Universes and the saving plan He has for His chosen. We are taught in Romans that if they believe in a little light that  God will reveal more light to them and that will continue in that way until they realize the truth of the God. I have heard stories about remote  African tribes and the natives have said to missionaries that they new they would come and give them the truth.
     I spoke too soon. It is 9:00 PM and outside it is thunder, lightning and a driving wind and pouring rain. We can always use the rain, but this is ridiculous.
     Bible Study was great. We had a couple visit for the first time. Nathan is a student and Ishah works with a organization called the Dream Center. They give people a hand up instead of a hand out. A very good work. She is on the radio, has a cooking show on TV and said she would like to use our kitchen to film in sometime. Maybe we can do that after I am through with radiation. They are young and very interesting to talk to.
     Tomorrow I have 3 appointments. 8:00 AM a 1 hour class on radiation. At 9:00 I go over to the Dental Oncologist to get the shunt for my mouth, then at 9:30 back to the Radiation Oncologist to get my mask made with the shunt in my mouth. It will be a busy day. We are making progress towards the big day. . . Radiation!
     By the way, I discovered I was mistaken about the fluoride past costing as much as I thought. It was the impression inserts that I paid $284 for. The fluoride can be bought at the pharmacy counter at any drugstore. WOW, what a relief!
     It is bedtime because we have an early morning and a big day tomorrow. I’m ready for it, God is in control and that is my comfort.
     God bless you all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 7, 2012
     It has been another rainy, gray day. But, the Son is still brightly shining in my life. Today was another appointment with Dr. Feldman my lovely Oncology Dentist. She tried on the stent for my mouth and will have the real one ready for my appointments on Monday. I got more  information concerning my mouth and teeth. Here it is—I will have to do a fluoride treatment EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! It takes about 10 minutes, that’s after brushing and flossing or using the water pick. I can not eat or drink for 1 hour after doing the treatment. It is best to do this before bed each night. Also, a tube that is about half the size of a regular tube of toothpaste costs 284.40 and the insurance company will not pay for it! The tube looks like it will last about 2 weeks. I have to spread it in a plastic upper and lower form that was taken from an impression of my teeth. We will certainly have to depend on the Lord to supply some extra funds for this expense. He will, I know, He always has. I asked the nurse if I were getting radiation on some other  part of my body would it be this complicated. She said there are other complications no matter where they do the radiation It makes me think of the Japanese at the end of the war after we had dropped the two atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Those people had full doses of the radiation without any protection. What a horrible thing to have to do to stop people from killing each other.
     I will be so glad when this process gets started and I can deal with each thing as it comes along. Right now I feel like I have to process it all at once and I am actually not capable of   doing that. When I start taking little steps I can handle that. I just wish that I would not have to deal with this for the rest of my life. There is no end to the cancer or the effects that it will leave with me. I know God will take me through it as He has brought me this far into it. I am so thankful for His faithfulness, blessings, and love. What do people do that don’t have God to rest in? I feel very blessed to be chosen by Him, not only to be His child forever but to experience this event in my life with Him as my guide.
     Life has become very dear to me. The “little things” that used to bother me are no longer important or worth making an waves about. What others think of me is no longer important to me. It is now more important to be concerned about what God thinks of me. I want Him to enjoy fellowship with me as much as I enjoy fellowship with Him.
     Thanks for reading my thoughts. I pray that something will make a little difference in the way you think about life. Like I said in the poem on May 29th, “God’s gift is today and everything in it. Make it count for eternity. Don’t waste a minute.”
     Love you all, 
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

June 6, 2012
     It has been a rainy, gray day. But, the Son has been brightly shining in my life today. I went to Dr. Manon’s office this afternoon and he said the P.E.T. scan looked very good. This means that, at this point, there are no MCC cells forming new tumors any where in my body. From what he said it doesn’t mean that they won’t form some in the future. This is why it is so important to go forward with the radiation. He said he would put everything needed to prepare for radiation on a fast track. I have to get a mask made and it has to be tested then I can start. He would like to start next week, so I hope we can get everything done by then. I can only say, Praise to you Lord for Your unspeakable blessing towards me and answer to many prayers.
     I took a little stone with me today to ask if it was alright if I took it into radiation with me. This stone came from Jerusalem and a Jewish man took a sharp stone and scratched a cross on one side of it and gave it to Billy. Billy did an outdoor Jerusalem presentation with a model that is in Jerusalem. The man was so impressed with his presentation that he wanted Billy to have a momento from the place where he did the presentation. Now, for the reason I wanted to take the stone with me. . . when I feel like I really need contact with the Lord I hold out my hand and grab His, or at least, I feel like he is holding on to my hand. For the radiation I wanted something physical in my hand and as I was praying I thought of the stone. It will be perfect because it is from the place where Jesus walked, Jerusalem. Perhaps His foot touched it over 2,000 years ago. Anyway, I will take it with me and hold it in my hand while I imagine my physical contact with Jesus. Crazy? Maybe.
     All in all it has been a great day. We desperately needed the rain around here. I got to spend time with Dorean at the doctors and at Cracker Barrel afterwards and I got a wonderful answer to prayer. Who can ask for more than that? I’m happy!
     Have a great night and day tomorrow.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com