July 12, 2012

     I must start tonight’s blog with a great big apology. On Monday I didn’t do a blog so I    didn’t announce our new great grandson in Texas. I can’t image how I managed to make that mistake. I think perhaps radiation is frying my brain. Actually, there is really no excuse for not proudly announcing because I am very proud to have him as my first great grandson. This is Donna and Daniel’s first grandchild and he should have gotten a big deal made about him. I’m sorry to the Howard family. Please forgive me.

     Landry James Howard came into this world on Monday at 9:09 am on 7-09-12. He weighed in at 8 pounds and was 20 inches long. He and his mother are doing very well. I can see from the pictures that he is absolutely adorable. He looks very much like his dad, so he is bound to be a handsome man. I hope they went home today and I will find out in a little while when Donna calls on her daily call. I really wish I could see him and give him some Mimi kisses. That will have to wait awhile. I’ll save them up for him.

     Colton Timothy Traywick joined us at a little after 6 pm on 7-11-12. He weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces and was also 20 inches long. Because of the date (7/11) his Pepaw, Tim calls him Big Gulp. He has dark hair and a good bit of it. He likes to keep his hands over his face. We have to hold them down every time we take a picture of him. He keeps his legs pulled up because that is how he was in the womb. He will put them down in time if we keep pulling them down for him. His big sister is proud of him too and gives him lots of kisses.

     All in all we are very blessed to have two beautiful, healthy and precious great grandsons. God has given us such a wonderful gift. Not everyone gets to see their great grandchildren and we have been able to see 3 of ours. May He give us the blessing of seeing more.

     Enjoy the pictures and getting to see some of our family. I will try to get more pictures of us  so you can meet them all.

          Much love to all,

          Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

Here is a proud Nonna. A mother of 4 handsom sons and grandmother of 1 beautiful grandson.

This is a bonding moment if I have ever seen one. This is Landry's dad, Joel. This is a picture that should be blown up and printed in black and white.

Here is Donna with her new love, Landry James Howard. How proud does she look?

Daniel and Donna admire their new family member.

This is Amanda before she went into the OR. How can anyone be so beautiful before giving birth?

This is Honey with her beautiful grandson, Colton Timothy Traywick, She is  so proud. The little cap on his head was crocheted by volunteers at the hospital. So cute!

Mommy and son.

And here is Mimi with the new great grandson. I make them take pictures from my right side because the other side is very red. I will have to wait until November to get a picture with Landry.

July 11, 2012
     Do you believe in love at first sight? Well, I do. Tonight at I looked into the dark eyes of Colton Timothy   Traywick I fell instantly in love. As I looked at him I could feel the love growing in my heart. He has captured my heart and I know that I will do anything possible or even impossible for him. His features are not something that women usually fall for but, the fact that his head is too big for his body and he keeps his feet drawn up like he was before he was born didn’t stop me from falling totally and completely in love with him.
     He’s is a precious 7 lb. 7 oz. bundle of beauty and is only 20 inches tall but he will grow and become even more handsome than he is now.
     We could only look at him, not hold him or kiss him and we couldn’t see Amanda, even Dorean couldn't see her and is so disappointed about that. She won’t be able to see her until tomorrow. I will go up when I am finished with my treatment. The hospitals are all in one big complex so it won’t be far to drive to see them. He is the first baby in our family that doesn’t look like someone in the family. We can’t figure out who he looks like but looks change by the day with babies so maybe the mystery will be solved soon.
     McKenzie is very proud and accepting of him. Thank God for that!
     It is very late for us because we stayed at the hospital hoping that we would get to see Amanda. I have to get ready for bed which takes awhile. I am really looking forward to tomorrow to hold Colton and seeing Amanda. I will post pictures tomorrow for you to enjoy our gorgeous brand new little great grandson.
     God bless you all.
     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 10, 2012
     This was the first day of the 4th week. All went well at treatment. Emma and her sister were there and we got to talk a little bit. Emma went to the restroom and I took this opportunity to ask her sister what had happened to Emma’s children all she said was, “I can’t talk about it.” It must have been something really terrible. I was pretty tired before I even left the hospital so I came home, ate a bowl of ice cream (a big bowl with chocolate sauce and cherries) because it is about the only food I still enjoy eating. I don’t taste it but the cold feels very good to me. After the ice cream I took a nap and felt better when I woke up. I still don’t feel like doing  anything but it is nice to feel better.
     On the way home from RT today there was a song on the Christian radio station that sounded like it could have come from my mind. MercyMe sings it and the words are amazingly  beautiful and meaningful. I’ll put them here for you to be blessed. The title is “Jesus, Bring the Rain.”

I can count a million times people asking me how I

can praise You with all that I’ve gone through.

The question just amazes me, can circumstances possibly

change who I forever am in You?

Maybe since my life was changed long before these rainy days

it’s never really ever crossed my mind.

To turn my back on You, oh Lord, my only shelter from the storm

but instead I draw closer through these times.

So I pray,

Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free.

Bring me anything that brings You glory

and I know there’ll be days when this life brings me pain.

But if that’s what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain.

 

I am Yours regardless of the dark clouds that may loom above.

Because You are much greater than my pain.

You who made a way for me, by suffering Your destiny.

So tell me what’s a little rain.

So I pray,

 

Holy, holy, holy,

Is the Lord God Almighty.

     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 8, 2012
     Sunday, Sunday, beautiful Sunday! Another great service this morning. After the service I spoke with a woman that was undergoing chemo for a brain tumor. This is the second time since 2008 that she has undergone chemo. She had chemo and radiation  at the same time. She is trusting the Lord for her healing and is very cheerful. He husband though is mad at God and asked for us to pray for him. Her name is Pam and is very pretty, a registered nurse and loves the Lord.
     We went to Panera’s for me to get soup and a smoothie, which I couldn’t taste but it is calories and nutrition which the doctors want me to get plenty of. It is hard to eat food that has no taste. I eat because I have to not for the taste.
     We had an exciting Bible Study tonight. As usual it is the highlight of my week. We have discussions and teachings. We laugh a lot. Everyone loves the Lord and is pretty knowledgeable about the Bible so we have some deep discussions. Billy is an excellent teacher and controller of discussions. I wish you could join us for a Sunday.
     Early this morning Dorean called me with a Bible verse that she said was good for me. Actually, I used this verse the first time I had cancer and have not referred to it this time. I needed to be reminded of it. Paul had called on the Lord to make the thorn in his flesh leave him. Here is God’s answer to Paul in II Corinthians 12:9, 10.

But he said to me,

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses,

so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

For the sake of Christ then, I am content with

weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

     I am truly experiencing this, because I feel strong though my body is weak. It is a surreal experience because it is not normal to feel this way. Trusting in the Lord is truly a strengthening of mind body and soul.
     Tomorrow I begin again with treatments, bring it on. We are ready, by we I mean the Lord in me.
     Have a great day tomorrow.
     Remember God is good, God is good all the time.   
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 5, 2012
     14 down 16 to go. If they hadn’t taken off for the 4th I would be half way through. But now I will have to wait until Monday to be half way through.
     The side effects escalate with each treatment. The left side of my face is very red. I am putting everything on it that I can. I want to get rid of this redness before Monday which will make it much worse if I can’t get it cleared up. I keep putting drops in my eye several times a day. I can’t tell that it is doing much for the watering or itching. The other side of my nose has starting bleeding too. I reached behind my left ear to scratch something and came back with a handful of hair. Dr. Manon said I would lose my hair back there and it has started. It may not show much if I can pull the hair above it over the spot, providing I don’t lose a whole lot more.
     I came home after treatment today and was so tired I just put on my gown and went to bed. After a nice long nap I felt a little better.  I haven’t changed out of my gown and will be ready for bed when it gets a little later. Yesterday I took two naps. It is strange to be so tired that I don’t want to even bend over and pick up something that shouldn’t be on the floor or put a dish in the dishwasher. It is easier to just walk away from it and leave it alone. I don’t like to leave a lot of things for Billy to have to do when he comes home, but he does fill the dishwasher for me.
     Speaking of Billy, he fell today while getting up on the model of Jerusalem. He scratched his face and poked a hole in his hand. After all the years of stepping up into it this is the first time he has fallen. He said he got his feet tangled up.
     The picture was taken Wednesday while everyone was at the house for the day. That is McKenzie and Annie in my lap. Dorean took the  picture, it turned out pretty good. I usually take terrible pictured, but this one isn’t too bad. I’ll try to get pictures of the rest of the family to show you.
     I am looking forward to the week end and not having to drive over to MD Anderson for treatment. Such good things usually happen over the week ends.
     It is time to take this tired body to bed after doing all the fluoride and other treatments to my mouth. I’ll talk with you later.
     Have a lovely week end.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 4, 2012
    No treatment today! I will have to go in on Monday after my 6th week. I feel like I am adding time instead of making up time.
     It was a wonderful day! Dorean, Tim, Amanda McKenzie, Deanna, Matt, Rebekah and Rachel were here. They grilled and made ice cream and we played games. What fun we had! I ate soup that Matt made for me. It was a healthy soup, but my taste is not working now so I can’t judge the taste of it.  I ate some of the ice cream, our family favorite Mountain Dew, but didn’t taste it. The coldness felt good in my mouth though.
     The fireworks have already started and our poor little Annie is  shaking and staying right on top of us. She has never tolerated loud noises very well. I guess all doggies are like that. She is so sweet, I hate to see her all worked up. When we go to bed in awhile she will crawl up under the covers and get next to Billy and stay for the night.
     My post yesterday was a little different than most of them. I just wanted to post it with no comments. I felt it spoke for its self. Sometimes I have to talk myself out of pity parties and there is nothing like looking at Jesus on the cross to get over myself. There is nothing to compare to what He did for me that doesn’t pale in comparison.
     Tomorrow I  will start treatment again and I am glad to put another one behind me. I haven’t been tired today like I usually am on the days I have RT. I got my prescription filled for a pain medication that is liquid. It says to take it every 3 hours, but I don’t like to take pain medications often or for very long. I take it before I got to bed and can get to sleep easier than without it. My mouth is very sore and painful so I take the numbing medication before I eat anything. I can swallow so much easier and without pain. I still have to eat soft things but at least it doesn’t hurt to eat them.
     It has been a great day which I fully enjoyed. We had fun playing a game called Headband. The game has bands that you put around your head and cards that you place in a slot on the band. You don’t know what is on the card. It is something like an animal, food or a thing and you ask questions to see if you can guess what is on the card in one minute. If you guess you get another card until you use up the time. Even McKenzie played it and just couldn’t control herself from giving hints to everyone.
     I hope you had a fun 4th and spent some time with your families.
     So good day, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 3, 2012

Dear Jesus,  

I was just thinking about myself and the  pain I am going through right now.

How every morning I awake to a new problem in my body.

There may be a new sore in my mouth that hurts,

or my eye is stuck shut with crust and waters at both corners.

Perhaps I have a nose bleed during the day or

I am hungry but nothing has taste and it hurts too much

to swallow anything.

Yes, I was thinking all of this when it came to me . . .

Is my pain anything compared to the pain You suffered at Calvary?

Is my problem even to be considered compared to dying on a cross?

Are the sores in my mouth anything to mention when You were

beaten with so many stripes over and over until Your back was shredded?

Your eyes, I think of Your eyes, full of love with the blood and sweat pouring into

them, was there no one to wipe them away?

Your blood, Your precious blood, was flowing from Your body,

so what is a little nose bleed?

Your hunger, Your great hunger, was that the chosen ones Your Father had

given You would spend eternity with You.

Your thirst, the only human trait You displayed on the cross,

was offered only vinegar.

Your pain, Your indescribable pain, was nothing compared to the

pain in Your heart.

Separation, though only for a short time,

separation from Your Father, with whom You had spent all of

eternity past was the worst pain of all.

You had endured the separation from the glorious heaven that You shared with

Your Father and all the angels.

Why were You suffering all of this?

So I could complain about my aches and pains while going

through a little trial on this earth?

No, no and again, no.

It was so I could turn to You

at this time in my life, this time that You are using these

things to bring me closer to You.

To make me understand and appreciate what You did

for me, undeserving me, on that cross on that day so long ago.

As tears run down my cheeks I realize they are tears of shame.

Shame for my selfishness, for my self pity.

Shame for not being thankful for what You have done and continue to do for me.

Who am I to think I don’t deserve what I am going through?

The tears bring me to repentance and thanks.

Thanks that You think me worthy to experience my small suffering in order to

know you better and be closer to You.

It is an honor to carry these little problems in my body and not complain

because of what You carried on Calvary for me.

Thank you Jesus.

Your loving and thankful child,

Mary Margaret