September 27,2012

     I’m back again. I will continue with my progress of healing.

     About 3 weeks ago I was able to start back at my gym. It felt so good! I also started back doing Tai Chi. I take each day as a gift from God and try to honor Him in what I do. Of course, I am not always successful because I am still human.

     Perhaps you may remember in 1956 when 5 missionaries were speared to death by a tribe of Auca Indians in Ecuador. When Billy was in Bible College I read Through Gates of    Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot, the wife of Jim Elliot, who was one of the martyred with the other 4.  I found some books on Kindle written since then and have been reading them and  getting such a blessing from them. I would like to recommend them as very good and inspiring reading. The Savage My Kinsman, Jim Elliot: one Great Purpose, Rachel Saint: A Star In the Jungle, Nate Saint: On a Wing and a Prayer, Elisabeth Elliot: Joyful Surrender and End of the Spear. On the internet you can get updated information and the Saints. Nate Saint’s grandson, Jesse, is now with the tribe that killed his grandfather and there is much love between them. The story is amazing and a testimony of what God can do through a life that is totally        dedicated to Him. I hope you will read some of these books and enjoy them as much as I have.

     This week I had a special treat. On Monday Billy and I went to Lakeland which is about, 1 1/2 hours from here, to meet Beverly and Tom for lunch at Abuelo’s, a Mexican restaurant we meet at often. It was wonderful to see Beverly again, I haven’t seen her since early April. It is  always a treat to spend time with them.

     This morning I had an appointment with my Ophthalmologist and found out that I am going to have cataract surgery sometime in the next few weeks. There is a possibility that I won’t have to wear glasses afterwards. That will be amazing!

     Yesterday I mentioned the Word from the Lord about my experience not being a physical experience but a Spiritual experience. It has dawned on me that all of a Christians experiences should be Spiritual. We should live our lives each moment in the Spirit. I have heard others say that but the meaning and reality of it did not hit me until recently. I am a little slow at getting things sometimes.

     This evening I am going with Deanna to see my granddaughter, Rachel 13, play Lacrosse. She is very good at it. I haven’t been able to see her play because most of her games are during the day and I can’t get out in the sun. Last week I was able to go to a night football game to see her sister, Rebekah 16, as a cheerleader. She is a natural at it and so adorable. They are both in a Charter school. These are two very talented and brilliant girls. I am very proud of them, not for the natural abilities but for their love of the Lord and the way they live their lives.

     It turns out that there was lightning alert and a little rain at the practice field so the girls weren’t able to play. We didn’t even get out of the car. In Florida, when there is a lightning alert they don’t allow games to play. Florida is second only to an area in India in lightning strikes. We are very cautious about lightning around here. Anyway, we had a lovely ride to the field and some great conversation. Any amount of time spent with my girls is a prize.

     Goodnight my friends,

     Mary Margaret

    The big “C” in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little “c” cancer.”

Remember to E-mail me

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 

    

 

September 26, 2012

    It looks like I have a lot of catching up to do since my last blog post so I will begin and see how far I can get today. I went back and check on my last few posts and found that I was not feeling quite up to my old self before radiation. At that point I still could not taste and had very little appetite. I had begun to have a strange thing happen when I drank cold water. It began with just a little bad taste in my mouth and gradually the taste became so foul that I couldn’t drink cold water. I found out by accident it wasn’t the water that was giving me the bad taste but the coldness of it. I couldn’t eat or drink anything cold without getting that taste. So I     began to drink only room temperature water and it was fine. That lasted for about 4 weeks and it gradually went away.

     At his point most of the side effects of radiation have gone away. I had a 6 week      appointment with the radiation oncologist and he said I was doing a remarkable job of healing.

It took just 3 weeks for my neck to completely heal. It was remarkable! I went to the dental oncologist and things were perfect. I had not lost any of the ability to open my mouth. I actually opened it farther than I did when she measured it before radiation. She was surprised at that.

     I am amazed at how quickly the side effects are vanishing. There are still some with me, but they are some that I can live with if I have to. The hair and eyelashes I’ve lost have not come back yet. I really do want my eyelashes back but I can live with the hair loss. There is still some phlegm in my throat and my nose and mouth are very dry, but not something I can’t live with if I have to.

     God has given me a thought for this journey I have been on. I was talking with someone the other day and the sentence came from my mouth that had never been in my brain. That has happened to me one other time. Something came out of my mouth without first going through my brain. What I said was that this experience I had been having for the past few months was not a physical experience, it was a spiritual experience. That sums it up perfectly. My spirit was learning, growing and being healed more than my body. That is truly exciting for me. It is something that I have needed for such a long time. God knew that and He used this means to work a miracle in my spirit. It actually began last year about 4 months before I even found out I had cancer for the first time. All the pieces have fallen into place. I don’t know if the picture is finished yet, but God will perform that work in me in whatever matter He chooses.

     This is all I am going to give you for today. I’m tired and my bed is calling me.

     Love to all of you,

      Mary Margaret

     The big “C” in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little “c” cancer.”

Remember to E-mail me

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 

September 25,2012

   I didn’t realize it had been so long since I posted my last blog. Due to personal contact, e-mails and phone calls, I am going to continue posting to my blog. There really hasn’t been much happening in the Jones household. I take every opportunity I can to go see our little Colton. He is growing bigger and more beautiful everyday. I have had the chance to keep him several times and I just hold him and look into his precious face. It is like holding as angel in my arms. What a love he is!

     I have been reflecting on some of the things I have been learning over the past months. God has been teaching me so much to help me grow spiritually. As I look around I wish I could share some of the things I am in the process of learning from God with people I have contact with. I fear sounding pious or judgmental, but I want so much for the ones I love to have some of the blessings that come with knowledge from God. These thoughts have been in my mind and on my heart for several weeks and I have come to the decision that God wants me to tell you about them. I know I am taking a chance, but didn’t Jesus every time He spoke?

     One of the things I have realized is that it is not enough to know the Word of God, to learn it, to study  it, even to meditate on it. Those things we need to do, but most importantly we must LIVE the Word of God.  When we leave the presence of a stranger they need to realize that there is something different about us, something great, something they would like to have.

Over my many years of being a Christian I have been in many churches with many different people in various stages of their Christian life. I have watched as the leadership of Christian ministries have fallen in to terrible sin. Their lives were false, the only truth was their sin. I am reminded of a book that I read twice many years ago. It was In His Steps by Charles Sheldon. A group of people in a church pledged for a period of time they would make all their decisions based on  what would Jesus do in this situation? It changed their lives. Occasionally it cost them much and many of their acquaintances thought they had gone off the “deep end” of Christianity.

     Anyway, this book gave me much to think about. I have to admit that I did not take up the idea of the book and live it, even though it did impress me. Lately, though, I have been contemplating the fact that this is a good way to live. We Christians tend to turn away from those we know are living in sins. We “look down our spiritual noses” at them. I’m talking about people who do drugs or alcoholics,  homosexuals are a big target of our disdain, also unwed mothers and couples living together without the benefit of marriage. You know, sins are all the same to God. He does not see them at different  levels as we do. That idea is of our own making. We too ,sin but our sins are different than those we sometime judge. I ask the question, “Did Jesus ever send anyone from His presence because they were sinners? Didn’t He allow a prostitute to wash His feet with her hair. Wasn’t He condemned by the Sanhedrin for keeping company with Publicans and sinners? Isn’t the Gospel is for everyone? If a gay or a prostitute or even a Muslim should come to a place where the Word of God is spoken, would we deny them that opportunity? What Would Jesus Do?

     The day is coming when we are all going to have to live the Word or renounce it. Where will I stand? I pray for the courage to do what Jesus would do.

     Enough of my soap box epistle.

     I will post this as my “coming back speech to my blog.” I will take tomorrow to bring everyone up to date with what is happening in my very blessed life.

     I love you all.

     Mary Margaret

 

The big “C” in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little “c” cancer.”

Remember to E-mail me

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

August 17, 2012
Last night I went to the Bible Study at THLE and gave my testamony. The following is a copy of what I said to the folks in attendance. It was wonderful to give praises to God for all He has done on my behalf over the past 10 months. I was nervous but The Spirit got me through it.

     First I want to thank all of you that have prayed for me and sent cards. You can’t know what they meant until you have been in a place like mine. I know Billy kept you up to date with my progress as it went along.

     I have been on an awesome journey since September 19, 2011. That was the first time I was told I had a Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It was in my left cheek and was a small 1.1 cm tumor. I began documented this journey on a blog which was more for my benefit than anyone else's. In   looking back over it I can see how each day God was bringing me closer to Him and increasing my faith.
     I would like to read some of the Bible verses that God gave me, through the Holy Spirit, as food for my Spirit to grow on. The first one was a tremendous help to me on many occasions.

“And after you have suffered a little while,

the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

I Peter 5:10

     He gave me that one early on because He knew how much I would need it.
A little later He added this one to my heart.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect,

that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

James 1:2-4

     I needed this one because my faith, at times, felt weak and I was needing a reminder that He was working on my steadfastness to make me complete. And I will be perfect and complete, someday when I see him face to face.
     By the 30th of September I was fully experiencing the grace and peace of God. This was a small fulfillment of I Peter 5:10, after suffering a little while, the God of grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish me. He had already begun that. He had given me faith enough to write this as a prayer.

“Lord, I do not want to lose this joy and peace you have given me.

Do I need tribulation to keep it? So be it, Lord.

This joy is worth it. The peace, the feeling of moving along,

being carried by the very hand of God. I remember, Lord, on September 12

(just 1 week before I found out I had cancer)

I prayed to know You better and look what You sent me to answer that prayer.

What will You send to answer this prayer?”

   I had my first surgery on the 10th of October. After removing the tissue around where the     tumor had been and all the lymph nodes in front of my ear, the doctors felt sure that they had gotten all the cancer and that I was cancer free. We were all rejoicing at this wonderful news.
     Little did we know that God was going to take me up on my prayer of September 30, when I asked Him did I need tribulation to feel His presence as I had been doing? The last words in that prayer were “What will You send to answer this prayer today?”
     In less than 6 months I would have another diagnosis of Merkel Cell Carcinoma. On April 9th, I had a biopsy which confirmed it. My wonderful God woke me up with a little song on my mind the morning of the biopsy, one that I don’t think I had even thought of for many, many years, it goes like this. If you know it, please sing along with me because I am not a singer.

He’s still working on me,

To make me what I ought to be.

It only took a week, to make the Moon and Stars,

The Earth and the Sun and Jupiter and Mars.

How loving, and patient He must be,

‘Cause He’s still working on me.

     There are verses to go with it also, but for time and listening sake I won’t try to sing them.

     My second awesome journey with cancer had begun and I must confess I was a little disappointed that we had not experienced a miracle the first time, but faithful as always, God gave me Psalm 9:1-2, 9-10 as my comfort.

“I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;

I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and exult in you;

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,

a strong hold in times of trouble.

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you,

O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

The last words stood out to me and I prayed to God,

“It is alright, God that we didn’t get a miracle the first time.

I know you have something for me this time and I rejoice in

whatever it is.”

     This is when something unusual happened within me. The thought came to me like  little voice in my heart, “I have a bigger miracle for you.”

     My surgery was on April 23rd where they removed a 1.5 cm tumor and 21 lymph nodes on the left side of my neck. I began radiation on June 18th and these are the verses that got me through that experience.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away,

our inner self is being renewed day by day.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight

of glory beyond all comparison,

as we look not to the things that are seen

but to the things that are not seen

for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

II Corinthians 4:16-18

     I won’t tell you all the side effects that radiation gave me, and sometimes it became a little

hard to keep strong in the faith, but My Lord came through with another wonderful verse to strengthen me.

I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield

and the horn of my salvation, my strong hold.

I find my comfort in know that God is my Fortress,

Surrounding me with His care.

He is my deliverer,

giving me victory over life’s troubles.

He is my Shield,

Always protecting me..

He is a Stronghold that will never fail.

Psalm 18:1, 2

     I can’t help but tell you of one experience I had while in Tomotherapy Radiation chamber. It was a Friday, because Friday was “Praise and Thanksgiving Day” for my prayers while in the chamber. In my prayer I said,

“Dear Lord, thank you that before the world was formed you knew I would be in this very place on this very day having this very experience and I praise you for that.”

As I finished that prayer I felt a beautiful feeling and tears came to my eyes, and I knew what it was and I said,

“You are in here with me, aren’t you Jesus?”

For in truth, He was in there with me, as He is with me all the time.

     I will close with part of my blog from July 23rd, when I had 4 more treatments left.

“I realized while in one of my pensive moods that I felt like I have been climbing a jagged rocky mountain for the past 5 1/2 weeks. It started off with a very gradual climb but the farther along I went on the journey the steeper the grade became. Not only was it steeper but I felt like the load I carried was getting heavier each day. Then I realized, that from the beginning I was not on this journey alone. I was not making the climb with my own strength and the load I thought I was carrying was the doubt and fears of my own  making. When I quit thinking of my own pain and became silent for a moment, the Lord spoke to me in His quiet, loving voice.”

     At this point I read from the post of July 23rd. I don't have it except on hard copy, fo if you want to see it go back to the blog of July 23rd.

     This is long enough so I will end.

     God bless you all.

Mary Margaret

 

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

August 10, 2012
     HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Yes it is my birthday. I am now a whole year older than I was yesterday.
     Actually, yesterday was a very nice day. I felt better than I have for many weeks. I went shopping to spend money to get me an outfit from Billy for my birthday. He would rather I pick out something myself than to go shopping himself. That is easier on both  of us. I got a killer jacket and shell. My favorite place to shop is Chico’s because I get lots of coupons from them and a nice big discount for my birthday. I had been in there last week and admired one of the sales ladies watches. Today I asked her where she got it, and she said there at Chicos but it was last year. She said, “Let me give you this one.” “Oh no, I can’t let you do that.” I said. She insisted and began taking it off. So I said I would accept it as a birthday present from her. Today I baked her a cake and took it to her. She was thrilled and I am so glad I was able to do that.
     Today I was not feeling as strong as I did yesterday. But that was okay. I stayed home to take calls from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday. It was a good day! Dorean, Amanda, McKenzie, Colton and Donna came over. Matt, Deanna and the girls are  taking me out to lunch tomorrow. That is my second lunch from the Butler family. I am making out!
     The wound on my neck is getting smaller every day. I can’t believe how quickly it is healing. I can go out now without covering it. My eye still waters all day, but that will get   better with time. I am anxious to see when my taste will come back. Whatever God has planned for me will be fine.
     I truly thank God for giving me another birthday with my family. I will be selfish and pray that I may have another one next year. After the year I have had I realize that is a great big prayer, but I have a great big God. Nothing is impossible with Him.
     What a great day! Thank you dear, Lord!
     Good evening, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

August 7, 2012
     I am going to try to bring you up to date since I last entered my blog. My memory is so bad that I can hardly remember what I did yesterday much less several days ago. I remember that on Friday I went to my  acupuncturist and felt very relaxed when I left his office. Actually, that is all I can remember about Friday.  Isn’t that sad? That’s my life now so I just accept it.
     Saturday we didn’t have a Bible Study because Dorean was on a ladies retreat for the weekend. I missed the study and the fellowship. I did get a little extra rest which I needed. I am still very tired and can’t do much at all before I need to rest. It will be so nice to feel better and get some things done around the house. Billy and I went to spend a little time with Colton. I need Colton time every once and awhile or I go through withdrawal.
     Sunday was another great day. Timothy and Joshua from Japan are visiting Daniel again and it was good to see them again. We got to know Timothy first when we visited Japan with Donna and Daniel a couple of years ago. We all went to lunch together then we came home for our Sunday nap. For Bible Study that night Billy asked Timothy to tell us about the ministry in Japan. It was very interesting. There is much going on in Japan and other Asian countries that they carry the Gospel to. The Japanese people are mostly Shinto and have been for hundreds of years. It is a hard to turn them from the religion of their ancestors. Anyway, after Bible Study we went to Twisty Treat with Donna, Daniel and Timothy.
     Monday was just like any other day. Boring! I did manage to get a load of laundry done. I consider that a major accomplishment. We went to Dorean’s for a Colton fix. He is growing so fast and is getting more    beautiful every time I see him. He is a very good baby and fortunate to have a family around him that loves him so much. This was the high point of my day.
     Tuesday, today’ again not much going on. I did manage to take some of my good clothes to the tailor close by to get them taken in. she is very good and can do some amazing things.
     I haven’t mentioned anything about the place on my neck that is open and raw. It has been getting worse for the last few days, but now is getting a little bit better today. I have figured out how to cover it so I can go out in public and not gross anyone out. Not many things have changed with my body. My left eye still waters even worse than it did while I was getting radiation. Most of my eyelashes are gone on that eye. It looks rather strange but I think that they will grow back, at least I hope so. My nose is still full and will only come out if I use the Nettie Pot. The phlegm in my throat doesn’t seem to be as bad. I can swallow pills without choking on them now.
     Billy and I went to Chili’s to get a bite for dinner. To let you know how much I eat at a meal I’ll tell you what I had tonight. I ordered Chicken Strips with corn on the cob and fries. I ate 1 1/2l of the Chicken Strips, 3 fries and about half the corn. I was able to cut the corn off the cob so it was easier to get into my mouth. By the time I had eaten the little bit I was not hungry enough to eat anymore. When you can’t taste food it is not longer a nice experience to partake in. Billy is getting some good lunches from my leftovers.
     I would like to mention a dear friend of ours who needs prayer. Her name is Marta Jones. Her family is not a relation of ours, but we have known them for many, many years. She and her husband were missionaries for many years, but have lived in Arkansas, where we had known them, for several years. She had a very aggressive form of brain cancer and had surgery but has been having convulsions since then. Their children and our girls were friends growing up. Please pray for Marta as you remember to.
     I am finally caught up and I need to get to bed. I am watching an old sermon that Billy Graham gave in Glasgow Scotland in 1991. It is on the cross and is considered to be one of his best sermons. He will not be with us very much longer. He is a man that God has used mightily and heaven will be full of his converts. I know many people find reasons not to like him, but I think anyone that has not brought more into the Kingdom than he has, has no right to say anything against him.
     Good night dear friends. Have a great day tomorrow
     God bless,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 August 2, 2012
     I have missed a couple of days due to nothing much happening around here. Tuesday was a slow day not doing much but getting my hair cut. WOW! what a thrilling day. I felt much like I did on Monday.
     Then came Wednesday. It was actually the worst day I’ve had in the last 6 weeks. I’ve been wrapping my neck at night to keep the cream medicine from getting on my pillow. When I took the bandages off my neck was very raw, red and bleeding. Blood was running down the bandage which was soaking it up. It was scary looking. I called Dr. Manon’s office and got a return call from Karen his very efficient nurse. She said the week after treatment my body will react like I am still getting radiation every day. What a great piece of news! No wonder I was feeling so bad.
     I called my go-to-gal, Dorean and said I needed some cheering up so she came by when she got off work and brought Colton with her. He always makes me feel good just to look at that beautiful peaceful face and get some neck kisses. You know, of course, that the best kisses on a baby are on the back of their necks. Most people don’t think of kissing there so it is the cleanest and sweetest spot. None of the sugar has been kissed off.
     Today is a better day than yesterday. I am taking the pain medicine more often than I use to. It really helps or I wouldn’t bother with it. My neck is no longer bleeding, but is still seeping. I clean it an put my Silver Sulfadiazine on it several times a day. The place on my neck is about 6” long by 2” high. The skin is pealing off daily. I took a picture of it, but it is too gross to show you. So I will quit talking about it.
     I actually had a little energy today and got a load of laundry done. I feel like a housewife again. Perhaps tomorrow will be an even better day. Thankfully, I have the Lord carrying me through this hard patch as He as been there through the good times too.
     It time for my nightly ritual or getting ready for bed. Billy will be home soon from Bible Study at The Holy Land Experience. Tomorrow my acupuncturist will be back and I am looking forward to him making me feel better. I have missed him for the past two weeks.  
     Much love to all,
    Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com