7/30/12

Here I am reading the plaque above the bell. I don't remember what it said but they wanted me to      read it out loud.

                                                                Ringing the bell.
July 30, 2012
     Well folks, this turned out to be a truly blessed day. I went to M.D. Anderson expecting to probably have to get my last treatment. Billy, Dorean and Deanna went with me to cheer me on. I checked with the tech and she looked at my neck and said I could still get the treatment. I asked if I could talk to the doctor and she said sure so I went to his office and after a little wait we were taken to an exam room. In walks my sweet Dr. Manon with his beautiful smile and cheery disposition. He looked at my neck and said it was not necessary to have the last treatment. We were very happy with this news. I gave him the cake and he was surprised and appreciative. We went back over to the radiation area and they gave me my mask and certificate then we went to ring the bell. That was fun and satisfying. I made a little speech before I rang the bell. “I will ring the bell three times, one for the Father, one for the Son and one for the Holy Spirit. They all carried me through this journey.

Thank you.”

     We came home and I took my daily nap. This afternoon I caught up on some things that needed done. This evening there was a cheering crowd coming through the front door. It was Tim and Dorean, Daniel and Donna, Amanda, Michael, McKenzie and Colton, Deanna, David and Hannah. They were cheering and brought me 29 beautiful roses in a bouquet. That is the number of treatments that I completed. It was a happy celebration, but they did me the kindness of not bringing food, which I would not be able to taste. They say when I get my taste back we will have a wonderful dinner together. What a beautiful and glorious family we have!

     There are some pictures attached of me at the bell, enjoy. It seems like I have waited a long time for this day. I have learned so much and had so many blessings along the way. I can honestly thank God for the experience and all that has gone along with it. Not many get to experience all the things I have in this short time since it began in April. I must admit that I am hoping that He is through teaching me for a little while at least. I need to rest this old body before another class starts.

     God bless you all.

     Love to all,

     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 A great big hurrah!

July 29, 2012
     I noticed that I had the wrong date on yesterdays blog. Sorry about that.
     This was a lovely Sunday. Billy gave another great message then we had a baptism at a beautiful fountain at the Holy Land Experience. The whole thing was special.
     My neck is blistering worse. I don’t see how they can possible do a treatment on it  tomorrow. They will probably make me wait until it has healed or say that 29 is sufficient and let it go at that. I pray that the latter will be their choice. My neck looks very bad and doesn’t feel much better.
     We have a dear couple at our church, their names are Don and Annie Ku. They have been such a blessing to us through the years and are such faithful prayer warriors. He came up to me today and was trying to tell me he prayed for me three times a day but had trouble getting it past his tears. He is just the sweetest and dearest man. With people like that praying for me why should I be concerned for my well-being. My great God will listen and do His will for me.
     Tomorrow is going to be a  very big day for me. I am anxious to get it over with.
     I need to go through my nightly routine so I’ll get started on it.
     Love to all
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 29, 2012
    I must be short tonight because I am very tired and must do some doctoring on my neck. During the day     several blisters have formed along the base of my neck and they have begun to run. This is a concern because when we blister they don’t do radiation until it heals. I have only one treatment left so I’m not sure how they will handle this. I hope it won’t be a problem since I have only one left. I will find out on Monday what the verdict is. Pray for me to be able to finish on Monday.
     It has been a very busy day. First there was Bible Study where we got into a discussion about the idea of could Jesus have sinned or not? All but one of us shared one side and one the other side. I won’t tell you who was on what side. This is an issue you can work out for yourselves. It is an idea that has been debated over many years with good arguments on both sides.
     I took a nap after everyone left then got up and made a cake to take to Dr. Manon on Monday for his staff. After that I had to get some groceries, we are getting kind of low around here. When I got home I had to take another nap. I got up and iced the cake. I have to do things in shifts nowadays.
     I had a can of soup for dinner and now it is time for me to get ready for bed. It will feel real good tonight. I have to figure out what I can do to help the blisters. Billy got me a 3’ gauze bandage to wrap around my neck so I won’t get medicine on my pillow. Won’t I look cute going to bed all dressed up in gauze? Well, we do what we have to do to get by.
     I’ll let you know how it goes Monday.
     Have a great Sunday.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 27, 2012
     I have been derelict in “keeping up with Mary” for a few days. The weariness has come upon me in full force. It has been hard to do anything but sleep and nibble a little through out  the day. Eating is almost impossible now. I know I have to eat to keep up what little strength I have left but it is so hard. I have to cough up phlegm in my throat several times a day. If I don’t I can’t swallow anything.
     Tuesday I had an Ophthalmology appointment for him to check my eyes to see if the radiation had any affect on my eyes. I checked out fine. Another praise to the Lord!
     Wednesday  Tim took me to treatment and I rested for the rest of the day.
     Thursday Deanna,  Rebekah and Rachel went with me and it was my friend Emma’s last treatment, so I took her a  lovely vase of flowers to celebrate. Her appointment is after mind so we waited for her to get through. She was surprised to see me waiting in the area where patients ring the bell at their last treatment. I will miss seeing her in the waiting area.
     Donna was home and she picked me up and we went to see Colton and then to her house to see Daniel and David. It is nice to have them back.
     Today Donna took me to treatment , it was my next-to-the-last one. I can hardly believe that I have only one left. Monday will be a red letter day for me. It doesn’t mean that everything is over because I will have at least two weeks of feeling like I do right now but at least I don’t have to get up everyday and go to treatment. I hope the first thing to clear up is the phlegm in my throat. I can wait for the other things to get better. They will, I just have to be patient, and wait on the Lord’s timing. It is nice to be on this end of the treatments. When I started 30 treatments seemed like such a big number. As I look back on it I can be thankful that God was with me through the whole thing.
     In reading through the Proverbs I have found a few that are humorous to me. In Proverbs 20:14 it says, “Bad, bad, says the buyer, but when he goes away, then he boasts.” Isn’t that just like when someone buys a car, but tells the salesman that isn’t such a good deal, but when he tells his friends about it he says it was a great deal. That is so he doesn’t look foolish but looks like he drove the salesman down. 
     Another is in Proverbs 26:15, “The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth.” I think that is about how I feel right now. I’m too tired to even put food in my mouth.
     The last one is Proverbs 26:18, 19, “Like a madman who throws firebrands, and arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!” ” This just goes to show you that people are still the same throughout time. Someone plays a dirty trick on someone else and then says “I was joking.“ How many times have we heard this.
     This is enough for tonight. I’ll try to do better with “keeping up with Mary.”
     So good evening, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 23, 2012
     26 down 4 to go!
     These last few days are the hardest I have experienced so far. To be able to get a glimpse of the end is heart warming, but it looks like such a hard climb. I seem to be having a difficult time getting there.
    I realized while in one of my pensive moods that I felt like I have been climbing a jagged rocky mountain for the past 5 1/2 weeks. It started off with a very gradual climb but the farther along I went on the journey the steeper the grade became. Not only was it steeper but I felt like the load I carried was getting heavier each day. Then I realized, that from the beginning I was not on this journey alone. I was not making the climb with my own strength and the load I thought I was carrying were the doubts and fears of my own making. When I quit thinking of my own pain and became silent for a moment, the Lord spoke to me in His quiet loving voice.

     “We are making this climb together. Can’t you feel my hands under yours? Your hands are resting on mine as I pull us upward towards the top. I am the one pulling on the sharp rocks to lift us higher up towards the top of this trial. It is My hands that bear the scars that help you on this climb. It is My feet that are scared by the large rocks that we must pass on the way to the top. When the rocks above us crumble and fall it is My head that they hit and mark with their sharpness. It is My side that is torn by jutting rocks as we move upward. We do not   stumble on this journey. It is My strength that has brought you this far. The small problems you have faced are nothing compared to what they would have been if I were not  holding you by My power and moving us upward. The small problems you have faced have only made you stronger to face what may be in your future. Even in those you will be carried in My power.

     We are so near the top now. Don’t let go of Me. Don’t look down at what has past in our journey together. Only look upward towards the goal that has been set for you to triumph through the pain, the doubts, and the fears of the past. Your victory is My victory. I give you this victory through My strength that you have depended upon throughout this journey. Victory is sweet, it is satisfying and beautiful. We will have other victories in the future. I will be there as I was for this. There is no shadow of turning with Me. There are no failures with Me. There is only victory and peace of heart. My grace is more than sufficient and I have proven that to you many times. You will rest in due time.”

     Much love to all,

     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com 

July 22, 2012
     Hello again. I’m sorry I haven’t checked in with you for a few days. The radiation has hit me full force now and I have absolutely no energy. They kept telling me I would not have any energy, but I did not expect it to be this bad. My  acupuncturist is out of town for two weeks just when I need him most. He was working on my energy level and it seemed to be working. He won’t be back until I  am through with radiation. I will still need him even then.
     Friday and Saturday I went to Dorean’s and held our little Colton for about an hour and a half. Just holding him seems to rejuvenate me a little. I have been going to bed at 8:30 or 9:00 for the past few nights. I just can’t keep awake after that.
     It is getting so much harder to eat anything now. After a few bites I just can’t force myself to eat anything more. I have to drink as many calories as I can. I try to get protein drinks. Today I have managed to get down about 22 grams of protein. That is close to normal of 25. I am afraid that I have lost too much weight this week and they frown on that and talk about feeding tubes. I will not accept a feeding tube because of all I have heard about them.
     So many things are pulling me down physically. The left side of my face looks burnt. It is dry and peeling and hurts in places. It is very hot to the touch. My ear is hurting and I can’t wear my earrings anymore because the piercing is leaking and getting hard. That is going too far. I don’t feel dressed without my earrings.   I am not telling you this to complain about my situation, but to have a written record of my progress. God is still good and is sustaining me through this. He is my strength spiritually and that carries me very well.
     I am no longer driving myself to radiation. I have someone set up for next week. Billy takes me on Monday. Carol Vincent, our song leader at church will take Tuesday. Wednesday my son-in-law, Tim, will take me. Thursday is Deanna and Rebekah’s day and Friday Donna will be back from Texas and will take me in. The team at the hospital are so nice about taking my folks into the room to see me get set up and tell them about what goes on. Next Monday several of the family are going because they make a big deal out of the last treatment. I get to ring a bell and there is much jubilation at that time. That will be a great day!
     I got a phone call from a pastor in Puerto Rico, Robert Bonilla, telling me that his church is praying for me. That means very much to me. We were there 2 years ago for Billy to hold a Prophecy Conference. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. The people are just as precious and loving as they can be. It is all genuine and a blessing to see. Knowing that they are remembering me in prayer blesses me on this wonderful Sunday evening.  
     It is past time for me to get to bed. Tomorrow I get back into the routine for a week. I pray the time will pass quickly and not drag on. God will take me through it with flying colors and praise to Him. I am so fortunate to have Him carrying me on this journey.
     God bless you all.
     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 17, 2012
     I am down to single digits now, 9 more to go! The time can not pass fast enough. I am so ready to get down to the mending part of this journey.
     I have been reading a book that a friend sent to my Kindle. In God’s Underground by Richard Wurmbrand. If you aren’t familiar with him, he is the founder of Voice of the Martyrs, a ministry that ministers to the Christians being persecuted. They reach all around the world and put out a monthly magazine with stories of the things that Christians are going through in some of the countries where Christians are dying and suffering for the cause of Christ. He was put in prison for 14 years in Romania during the takeover of Communism and later put in solitary confinement for over two years. He was a minister and known for being a Christian and the Communist wanted him to turn to their political way and deny Christ. He wouldn’t, and was tortured severely over and over. During the time he was in solitary confinement he was bothered by the silence and questioned God as to why he was alone and surrounded by silence. Even the guards wore felt on the bottom of their shoes so the prisoners couldn’t here them coming. He writes his thoughts during this time. . . “I wondered how you could praise God by a life of silence. At first I prayed greatly to be released. I asked. ‘”You have said in   Scripture that it is not good that a man should be alone; why do You keep me alone?’” But as days passed into weeks my only visitor was still the guard, who brought wedges of black bread and watery soup, and never spoke a word. . .  Perhaps in this silence I was coming closer to God.  . . I began to realize my real personality, and made sure that it belonged to Christ. I found that even here my thoughts and feelings turned to God and that I could pass night after night in prayer, spiritual exercise, and praise. I knew now that I was not play-acting, believing what I believed.”
     I can understand in the smallest and simplest way how he felt about being alone and turning to God. That is what I do while in the radiation machine. I am completely alone both in the machine and in the room. At one point several days ago I felt as close to God as I ever have. I think I wrote about it in my blog. I was praying and felt like there was a Holy Presence with me in the machine. It was    awesome! This is a book worth reading, I highly recommend it. It is amazing what God can bring someone through that is trusting and resting in Him. It has been the biggest blessing while going through all of this to see God working in my own life and how He has changed my heart attitude about so many things. What used to be important no longer is and now there are other things that are important to me. I am so happy about the changes that God has brought about in me.
     Thank you, Dear Lord, for you never ending work in my life. 
     Have a blessed night. Tell someone you love them, and mean it.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com