August 17, 2012
Last night I went to the Bible Study at THLE and gave my testamony. The following is a copy of what I said to the folks in attendance. It was wonderful to give praises to God for all He has done on my behalf over the past 10 months. I was nervous but The Spirit got me through it.

     First I want to thank all of you that have prayed for me and sent cards. You can’t know what they meant until you have been in a place like mine. I know Billy kept you up to date with my progress as it went along.

     I have been on an awesome journey since September 19, 2011. That was the first time I was told I had a Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It was in my left cheek and was a small 1.1 cm tumor. I began documented this journey on a blog which was more for my benefit than anyone else's. In   looking back over it I can see how each day God was bringing me closer to Him and increasing my faith.
     I would like to read some of the Bible verses that God gave me, through the Holy Spirit, as food for my Spirit to grow on. The first one was a tremendous help to me on many occasions.

“And after you have suffered a little while,

the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”

I Peter 5:10

     He gave me that one early on because He knew how much I would need it.
A little later He added this one to my heart.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect,

that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

James 1:2-4

     I needed this one because my faith, at times, felt weak and I was needing a reminder that He was working on my steadfastness to make me complete. And I will be perfect and complete, someday when I see him face to face.
     By the 30th of September I was fully experiencing the grace and peace of God. This was a small fulfillment of I Peter 5:10, after suffering a little while, the God of grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish me. He had already begun that. He had given me faith enough to write this as a prayer.

“Lord, I do not want to lose this joy and peace you have given me.

Do I need tribulation to keep it? So be it, Lord.

This joy is worth it. The peace, the feeling of moving along,

being carried by the very hand of God. I remember, Lord, on September 12

(just 1 week before I found out I had cancer)

I prayed to know You better and look what You sent me to answer that prayer.

What will You send to answer this prayer?”

   I had my first surgery on the 10th of October. After removing the tissue around where the     tumor had been and all the lymph nodes in front of my ear, the doctors felt sure that they had gotten all the cancer and that I was cancer free. We were all rejoicing at this wonderful news.
     Little did we know that God was going to take me up on my prayer of September 30, when I asked Him did I need tribulation to feel His presence as I had been doing? The last words in that prayer were “What will You send to answer this prayer today?”
     In less than 6 months I would have another diagnosis of Merkel Cell Carcinoma. On April 9th, I had a biopsy which confirmed it. My wonderful God woke me up with a little song on my mind the morning of the biopsy, one that I don’t think I had even thought of for many, many years, it goes like this. If you know it, please sing along with me because I am not a singer.

He’s still working on me,

To make me what I ought to be.

It only took a week, to make the Moon and Stars,

The Earth and the Sun and Jupiter and Mars.

How loving, and patient He must be,

‘Cause He’s still working on me.

     There are verses to go with it also, but for time and listening sake I won’t try to sing them.

     My second awesome journey with cancer had begun and I must confess I was a little disappointed that we had not experienced a miracle the first time, but faithful as always, God gave me Psalm 9:1-2, 9-10 as my comfort.

“I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;

I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and exult in you;

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,

a strong hold in times of trouble.

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you,

O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

The last words stood out to me and I prayed to God,

“It is alright, God that we didn’t get a miracle the first time.

I know you have something for me this time and I rejoice in

whatever it is.”

     This is when something unusual happened within me. The thought came to me like  little voice in my heart, “I have a bigger miracle for you.”

     My surgery was on April 23rd where they removed a 1.5 cm tumor and 21 lymph nodes on the left side of my neck. I began radiation on June 18th and these are the verses that got me through that experience.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away,

our inner self is being renewed day by day.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight

of glory beyond all comparison,

as we look not to the things that are seen

but to the things that are not seen

for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”

II Corinthians 4:16-18

     I won’t tell you all the side effects that radiation gave me, and sometimes it became a little

hard to keep strong in the faith, but My Lord came through with another wonderful verse to strengthen me.

I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield

and the horn of my salvation, my strong hold.

I find my comfort in know that God is my Fortress,

Surrounding me with His care.

He is my deliverer,

giving me victory over life’s troubles.

He is my Shield,

Always protecting me..

He is a Stronghold that will never fail.

Psalm 18:1, 2

     I can’t help but tell you of one experience I had while in Tomotherapy Radiation chamber. It was a Friday, because Friday was “Praise and Thanksgiving Day” for my prayers while in the chamber. In my prayer I said,

“Dear Lord, thank you that before the world was formed you knew I would be in this very place on this very day having this very experience and I praise you for that.”

As I finished that prayer I felt a beautiful feeling and tears came to my eyes, and I knew what it was and I said,

“You are in here with me, aren’t you Jesus?”

For in truth, He was in there with me, as He is with me all the time.

     I will close with part of my blog from July 23rd, when I had 4 more treatments left.

“I realized while in one of my pensive moods that I felt like I have been climbing a jagged rocky mountain for the past 5 1/2 weeks. It started off with a very gradual climb but the farther along I went on the journey the steeper the grade became. Not only was it steeper but I felt like the load I carried was getting heavier each day. Then I realized, that from the beginning I was not on this journey alone. I was not making the climb with my own strength and the load I thought I was carrying was the doubt and fears of my own  making. When I quit thinking of my own pain and became silent for a moment, the Lord spoke to me in His quiet, loving voice.”

     At this point I read from the post of July 23rd. I don't have it except on hard copy, fo if you want to see it go back to the blog of July 23rd.

     This is long enough so I will end.

     God bless you all.

Mary Margaret

 

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com