7/30/12

Here I am reading the plaque above the bell. I don't remember what it said but they wanted me to      read it out loud.

                                                                Ringing the bell.
July 30, 2012
     Well folks, this turned out to be a truly blessed day. I went to M.D. Anderson expecting to probably have to get my last treatment. Billy, Dorean and Deanna went with me to cheer me on. I checked with the tech and she looked at my neck and said I could still get the treatment. I asked if I could talk to the doctor and she said sure so I went to his office and after a little wait we were taken to an exam room. In walks my sweet Dr. Manon with his beautiful smile and cheery disposition. He looked at my neck and said it was not necessary to have the last treatment. We were very happy with this news. I gave him the cake and he was surprised and appreciative. We went back over to the radiation area and they gave me my mask and certificate then we went to ring the bell. That was fun and satisfying. I made a little speech before I rang the bell. “I will ring the bell three times, one for the Father, one for the Son and one for the Holy Spirit. They all carried me through this journey.

Thank you.”

     We came home and I took my daily nap. This afternoon I caught up on some things that needed done. This evening there was a cheering crowd coming through the front door. It was Tim and Dorean, Daniel and Donna, Amanda, Michael, McKenzie and Colton, Deanna, David and Hannah. They were cheering and brought me 29 beautiful roses in a bouquet. That is the number of treatments that I completed. It was a happy celebration, but they did me the kindness of not bringing food, which I would not be able to taste. They say when I get my taste back we will have a wonderful dinner together. What a beautiful and glorious family we have!

     There are some pictures attached of me at the bell, enjoy. It seems like I have waited a long time for this day. I have learned so much and had so many blessings along the way. I can honestly thank God for the experience and all that has gone along with it. Not many get to experience all the things I have in this short time since it began in April. I must admit that I am hoping that He is through teaching me for a little while at least. I need to rest this old body before another class starts.

     God bless you all.

     Love to all,

     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

 A great big hurrah!

July 29, 2012
     I noticed that I had the wrong date on yesterdays blog. Sorry about that.
     This was a lovely Sunday. Billy gave another great message then we had a baptism at a beautiful fountain at the Holy Land Experience. The whole thing was special.
     My neck is blistering worse. I don’t see how they can possible do a treatment on it  tomorrow. They will probably make me wait until it has healed or say that 29 is sufficient and let it go at that. I pray that the latter will be their choice. My neck looks very bad and doesn’t feel much better.
     We have a dear couple at our church, their names are Don and Annie Ku. They have been such a blessing to us through the years and are such faithful prayer warriors. He came up to me today and was trying to tell me he prayed for me three times a day but had trouble getting it past his tears. He is just the sweetest and dearest man. With people like that praying for me why should I be concerned for my well-being. My great God will listen and do His will for me.
     Tomorrow is going to be a  very big day for me. I am anxious to get it over with.
     I need to go through my nightly routine so I’ll get started on it.
     Love to all
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 29, 2012
    I must be short tonight because I am very tired and must do some doctoring on my neck. During the day     several blisters have formed along the base of my neck and they have begun to run. This is a concern because when we blister they don’t do radiation until it heals. I have only one treatment left so I’m not sure how they will handle this. I hope it won’t be a problem since I have only one left. I will find out on Monday what the verdict is. Pray for me to be able to finish on Monday.
     It has been a very busy day. First there was Bible Study where we got into a discussion about the idea of could Jesus have sinned or not? All but one of us shared one side and one the other side. I won’t tell you who was on what side. This is an issue you can work out for yourselves. It is an idea that has been debated over many years with good arguments on both sides.
     I took a nap after everyone left then got up and made a cake to take to Dr. Manon on Monday for his staff. After that I had to get some groceries, we are getting kind of low around here. When I got home I had to take another nap. I got up and iced the cake. I have to do things in shifts nowadays.
     I had a can of soup for dinner and now it is time for me to get ready for bed. It will feel real good tonight. I have to figure out what I can do to help the blisters. Billy got me a 3’ gauze bandage to wrap around my neck so I won’t get medicine on my pillow. Won’t I look cute going to bed all dressed up in gauze? Well, we do what we have to do to get by.
     I’ll let you know how it goes Monday.
     Have a great Sunday.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 27, 2012
     I have been derelict in “keeping up with Mary” for a few days. The weariness has come upon me in full force. It has been hard to do anything but sleep and nibble a little through out  the day. Eating is almost impossible now. I know I have to eat to keep up what little strength I have left but it is so hard. I have to cough up phlegm in my throat several times a day. If I don’t I can’t swallow anything.
     Tuesday I had an Ophthalmology appointment for him to check my eyes to see if the radiation had any affect on my eyes. I checked out fine. Another praise to the Lord!
     Wednesday  Tim took me to treatment and I rested for the rest of the day.
     Thursday Deanna,  Rebekah and Rachel went with me and it was my friend Emma’s last treatment, so I took her a  lovely vase of flowers to celebrate. Her appointment is after mind so we waited for her to get through. She was surprised to see me waiting in the area where patients ring the bell at their last treatment. I will miss seeing her in the waiting area.
     Donna was home and she picked me up and we went to see Colton and then to her house to see Daniel and David. It is nice to have them back.
     Today Donna took me to treatment , it was my next-to-the-last one. I can hardly believe that I have only one left. Monday will be a red letter day for me. It doesn’t mean that everything is over because I will have at least two weeks of feeling like I do right now but at least I don’t have to get up everyday and go to treatment. I hope the first thing to clear up is the phlegm in my throat. I can wait for the other things to get better. They will, I just have to be patient, and wait on the Lord’s timing. It is nice to be on this end of the treatments. When I started 30 treatments seemed like such a big number. As I look back on it I can be thankful that God was with me through the whole thing.
     In reading through the Proverbs I have found a few that are humorous to me. In Proverbs 20:14 it says, “Bad, bad, says the buyer, but when he goes away, then he boasts.” Isn’t that just like when someone buys a car, but tells the salesman that isn’t such a good deal, but when he tells his friends about it he says it was a great deal. That is so he doesn’t look foolish but looks like he drove the salesman down. 
     Another is in Proverbs 26:15, “The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth.” I think that is about how I feel right now. I’m too tired to even put food in my mouth.
     The last one is Proverbs 26:18, 19, “Like a madman who throws firebrands, and arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!” ” This just goes to show you that people are still the same throughout time. Someone plays a dirty trick on someone else and then says “I was joking.“ How many times have we heard this.
     This is enough for tonight. I’ll try to do better with “keeping up with Mary.”
     So good evening, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 23, 2012
     26 down 4 to go!
     These last few days are the hardest I have experienced so far. To be able to get a glimpse of the end is heart warming, but it looks like such a hard climb. I seem to be having a difficult time getting there.
    I realized while in one of my pensive moods that I felt like I have been climbing a jagged rocky mountain for the past 5 1/2 weeks. It started off with a very gradual climb but the farther along I went on the journey the steeper the grade became. Not only was it steeper but I felt like the load I carried was getting heavier each day. Then I realized, that from the beginning I was not on this journey alone. I was not making the climb with my own strength and the load I thought I was carrying were the doubts and fears of my own making. When I quit thinking of my own pain and became silent for a moment, the Lord spoke to me in His quiet loving voice.

     “We are making this climb together. Can’t you feel my hands under yours? Your hands are resting on mine as I pull us upward towards the top. I am the one pulling on the sharp rocks to lift us higher up towards the top of this trial. It is My hands that bear the scars that help you on this climb. It is My feet that are scared by the large rocks that we must pass on the way to the top. When the rocks above us crumble and fall it is My head that they hit and mark with their sharpness. It is My side that is torn by jutting rocks as we move upward. We do not   stumble on this journey. It is My strength that has brought you this far. The small problems you have faced are nothing compared to what they would have been if I were not  holding you by My power and moving us upward. The small problems you have faced have only made you stronger to face what may be in your future. Even in those you will be carried in My power.

     We are so near the top now. Don’t let go of Me. Don’t look down at what has past in our journey together. Only look upward towards the goal that has been set for you to triumph through the pain, the doubts, and the fears of the past. Your victory is My victory. I give you this victory through My strength that you have depended upon throughout this journey. Victory is sweet, it is satisfying and beautiful. We will have other victories in the future. I will be there as I was for this. There is no shadow of turning with Me. There are no failures with Me. There is only victory and peace of heart. My grace is more than sufficient and I have proven that to you many times. You will rest in due time.”

     Much love to all,

     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com 

July 22, 2012
     Hello again. I’m sorry I haven’t checked in with you for a few days. The radiation has hit me full force now and I have absolutely no energy. They kept telling me I would not have any energy, but I did not expect it to be this bad. My  acupuncturist is out of town for two weeks just when I need him most. He was working on my energy level and it seemed to be working. He won’t be back until I  am through with radiation. I will still need him even then.
     Friday and Saturday I went to Dorean’s and held our little Colton for about an hour and a half. Just holding him seems to rejuvenate me a little. I have been going to bed at 8:30 or 9:00 for the past few nights. I just can’t keep awake after that.
     It is getting so much harder to eat anything now. After a few bites I just can’t force myself to eat anything more. I have to drink as many calories as I can. I try to get protein drinks. Today I have managed to get down about 22 grams of protein. That is close to normal of 25. I am afraid that I have lost too much weight this week and they frown on that and talk about feeding tubes. I will not accept a feeding tube because of all I have heard about them.
     So many things are pulling me down physically. The left side of my face looks burnt. It is dry and peeling and hurts in places. It is very hot to the touch. My ear is hurting and I can’t wear my earrings anymore because the piercing is leaking and getting hard. That is going too far. I don’t feel dressed without my earrings.   I am not telling you this to complain about my situation, but to have a written record of my progress. God is still good and is sustaining me through this. He is my strength spiritually and that carries me very well.
     I am no longer driving myself to radiation. I have someone set up for next week. Billy takes me on Monday. Carol Vincent, our song leader at church will take Tuesday. Wednesday my son-in-law, Tim, will take me. Thursday is Deanna and Rebekah’s day and Friday Donna will be back from Texas and will take me in. The team at the hospital are so nice about taking my folks into the room to see me get set up and tell them about what goes on. Next Monday several of the family are going because they make a big deal out of the last treatment. I get to ring a bell and there is much jubilation at that time. That will be a great day!
     I got a phone call from a pastor in Puerto Rico, Robert Bonilla, telling me that his church is praying for me. That means very much to me. We were there 2 years ago for Billy to hold a Prophecy Conference. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. The people are just as precious and loving as they can be. It is all genuine and a blessing to see. Knowing that they are remembering me in prayer blesses me on this wonderful Sunday evening.  
     It is past time for me to get to bed. Tomorrow I get back into the routine for a week. I pray the time will pass quickly and not drag on. God will take me through it with flying colors and praise to Him. I am so fortunate to have Him carrying me on this journey.
     God bless you all.
     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 17, 2012
     I am down to single digits now, 9 more to go! The time can not pass fast enough. I am so ready to get down to the mending part of this journey.
     I have been reading a book that a friend sent to my Kindle. In God’s Underground by Richard Wurmbrand. If you aren’t familiar with him, he is the founder of Voice of the Martyrs, a ministry that ministers to the Christians being persecuted. They reach all around the world and put out a monthly magazine with stories of the things that Christians are going through in some of the countries where Christians are dying and suffering for the cause of Christ. He was put in prison for 14 years in Romania during the takeover of Communism and later put in solitary confinement for over two years. He was a minister and known for being a Christian and the Communist wanted him to turn to their political way and deny Christ. He wouldn’t, and was tortured severely over and over. During the time he was in solitary confinement he was bothered by the silence and questioned God as to why he was alone and surrounded by silence. Even the guards wore felt on the bottom of their shoes so the prisoners couldn’t here them coming. He writes his thoughts during this time. . . “I wondered how you could praise God by a life of silence. At first I prayed greatly to be released. I asked. ‘”You have said in   Scripture that it is not good that a man should be alone; why do You keep me alone?’” But as days passed into weeks my only visitor was still the guard, who brought wedges of black bread and watery soup, and never spoke a word. . .  Perhaps in this silence I was coming closer to God.  . . I began to realize my real personality, and made sure that it belonged to Christ. I found that even here my thoughts and feelings turned to God and that I could pass night after night in prayer, spiritual exercise, and praise. I knew now that I was not play-acting, believing what I believed.”
     I can understand in the smallest and simplest way how he felt about being alone and turning to God. That is what I do while in the radiation machine. I am completely alone both in the machine and in the room. At one point several days ago I felt as close to God as I ever have. I think I wrote about it in my blog. I was praying and felt like there was a Holy Presence with me in the machine. It was    awesome! This is a book worth reading, I highly recommend it. It is amazing what God can bring someone through that is trusting and resting in Him. It has been the biggest blessing while going through all of this to see God working in my own life and how He has changed my heart attitude about so many things. What used to be important no longer is and now there are other things that are important to me. I am so happy about the changes that God has brought about in me.
     Thank you, Dear Lord, for you never ending work in my life. 
     Have a blessed night. Tell someone you love them, and mean it.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 16, 2012
     What a Day! Alyssa took me to RT this morning and got to come in and see me get hooked up. She said it looked awful. On the way home I got a call from Dorean that they were in an ambulance taking Amanda to the hospital because she was having severe pain. The pain medication she had been on since she left the hospital also works to (how can I say this delicately?) plug you up, if you know what I mean. Alyssa wasn’t feeling well so she went home and I went up to the hospital. Amanda was in a lot of pain so they gave her morphine and she rested a little. They had to take Colton in case she needed to feed him, but she was in too much pain so we made a formula bottle for him and he took it down quickly. You know how it goes in the ER, we were up there for about 4 hours. I took care of dear Colton and Dorean took care of Amanda. He was such a good boy the whole time. Finally, after 4 hours Amanda was able to be relieved and was so happy and was able to go home. I came home very tired but happy that God had taken care of the problem for Amanda.
     That is my whole day. Just a little drama in the Jones family.
     This is enough to bore you with for today. 
     Have a great night.
     Remember God is good, God is good all the time.   
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 15, 2012
     Sundays are usually my favorite day of the week, but this Sunday was a little different. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a blessing because God was very present at all times. I don’t like anything to put a smudge on my Sundays because they are always so wonderful. There was just a little smudge but still a smudge. It will all be wiped away soon, I hope and things will be beautiful again.  Don’t worry about it I’m fine! I only mentioned it because God brings all sorts of things into our lives to help us learn lessons that will make us stronger. I look at everything like that. It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, but it does make life easier in the long run.
     I had a tasteless lunch of  salmon and salad. Usually this particular salad is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten, (it is a Tai Crunch salad at California Pizza Kitchen) but with my new taste or should I say non taste it was just like a bunch of shredded Styrofoam. I try to eat things that are good for me even if I can’t taste them. It is hard to eat anything with out tasting it. I have come to the conclusion that my reason for eating was to taste the food. Now that there is no taste to food I don’t eat nearly as much.
     After I woke up from my nap Dorean called to tell me that she had to take Amanda back to the hospital. She is having pain in her abdomen and the pain medication she has doesn’t work. It isn’t the C-section incision but inside that is hurting. We will go up after Bible Study tonight. Of course, Colton had to go too because she is his source of food.
     We just ran over for awhile to see our little Colton. He gets cuter every day. I just can’t let a day go by without seeing him and holding him and kissing his soft little face.
     Here is a beautiful verse on a card that was sent to me. It has a wonderful thought and is good for this day that I have had.

He Saw You

what an incredible journey Jesus made,

what an overwhelming expression of love He undertook,

what an awesome purpose He had in mind.

You were on His heart.

when He left His home in heaven, He saw you;

when He became a man on earth, He was seeking you;

when He stretched out His hands upon the cross, He was reaching out to you;

when He returned to His Father, He was preparing a place for you

You are the sheep He has come to shepherd,

to guide, to feed, to protect, to shelter, and to carry.

You are the one He calls His own.

The signature of God’s love

is written all over you life.

I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth His life for the sheep.

John 10:11

     He is my Good Shepherd, my Teacher, my Guide, my Example and my All.
     So good day, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 12, 2012

     I must start tonight’s blog with a great big apology. On Monday I didn’t do a blog so I    didn’t announce our new great grandson in Texas. I can’t image how I managed to make that mistake. I think perhaps radiation is frying my brain. Actually, there is really no excuse for not proudly announcing because I am very proud to have him as my first great grandson. This is Donna and Daniel’s first grandchild and he should have gotten a big deal made about him. I’m sorry to the Howard family. Please forgive me.

     Landry James Howard came into this world on Monday at 9:09 am on 7-09-12. He weighed in at 8 pounds and was 20 inches long. He and his mother are doing very well. I can see from the pictures that he is absolutely adorable. He looks very much like his dad, so he is bound to be a handsome man. I hope they went home today and I will find out in a little while when Donna calls on her daily call. I really wish I could see him and give him some Mimi kisses. That will have to wait awhile. I’ll save them up for him.

     Colton Timothy Traywick joined us at a little after 6 pm on 7-11-12. He weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces and was also 20 inches long. Because of the date (7/11) his Pepaw, Tim calls him Big Gulp. He has dark hair and a good bit of it. He likes to keep his hands over his face. We have to hold them down every time we take a picture of him. He keeps his legs pulled up because that is how he was in the womb. He will put them down in time if we keep pulling them down for him. His big sister is proud of him too and gives him lots of kisses.

     All in all we are very blessed to have two beautiful, healthy and precious great grandsons. God has given us such a wonderful gift. Not everyone gets to see their great grandchildren and we have been able to see 3 of ours. May He give us the blessing of seeing more.

     Enjoy the pictures and getting to see some of our family. I will try to get more pictures of us  so you can meet them all.

          Much love to all,

          Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

Here is a proud Nonna. A mother of 4 handsom sons and grandmother of 1 beautiful grandson.

This is a bonding moment if I have ever seen one. This is Landry's dad, Joel. This is a picture that should be blown up and printed in black and white.

Here is Donna with her new love, Landry James Howard. How proud does she look?

Daniel and Donna admire their new family member.

This is Amanda before she went into the OR. How can anyone be so beautiful before giving birth?

This is Honey with her beautiful grandson, Colton Timothy Traywick, She is  so proud. The little cap on his head was crocheted by volunteers at the hospital. So cute!

Mommy and son.

And here is Mimi with the new great grandson. I make them take pictures from my right side because the other side is very red. I will have to wait until November to get a picture with Landry.

July 11, 2012
     Do you believe in love at first sight? Well, I do. Tonight at I looked into the dark eyes of Colton Timothy   Traywick I fell instantly in love. As I looked at him I could feel the love growing in my heart. He has captured my heart and I know that I will do anything possible or even impossible for him. His features are not something that women usually fall for but, the fact that his head is too big for his body and he keeps his feet drawn up like he was before he was born didn’t stop me from falling totally and completely in love with him.
     He’s is a precious 7 lb. 7 oz. bundle of beauty and is only 20 inches tall but he will grow and become even more handsome than he is now.
     We could only look at him, not hold him or kiss him and we couldn’t see Amanda, even Dorean couldn't see her and is so disappointed about that. She won’t be able to see her until tomorrow. I will go up when I am finished with my treatment. The hospitals are all in one big complex so it won’t be far to drive to see them. He is the first baby in our family that doesn’t look like someone in the family. We can’t figure out who he looks like but looks change by the day with babies so maybe the mystery will be solved soon.
     McKenzie is very proud and accepting of him. Thank God for that!
     It is very late for us because we stayed at the hospital hoping that we would get to see Amanda. I have to get ready for bed which takes awhile. I am really looking forward to tomorrow to hold Colton and seeing Amanda. I will post pictures tomorrow for you to enjoy our gorgeous brand new little great grandson.
     God bless you all.
     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 10, 2012
     This was the first day of the 4th week. All went well at treatment. Emma and her sister were there and we got to talk a little bit. Emma went to the restroom and I took this opportunity to ask her sister what had happened to Emma’s children all she said was, “I can’t talk about it.” It must have been something really terrible. I was pretty tired before I even left the hospital so I came home, ate a bowl of ice cream (a big bowl with chocolate sauce and cherries) because it is about the only food I still enjoy eating. I don’t taste it but the cold feels very good to me. After the ice cream I took a nap and felt better when I woke up. I still don’t feel like doing  anything but it is nice to feel better.
     On the way home from RT today there was a song on the Christian radio station that sounded like it could have come from my mind. MercyMe sings it and the words are amazingly  beautiful and meaningful. I’ll put them here for you to be blessed. The title is “Jesus, Bring the Rain.”

I can count a million times people asking me how I

can praise You with all that I’ve gone through.

The question just amazes me, can circumstances possibly

change who I forever am in You?

Maybe since my life was changed long before these rainy days

it’s never really ever crossed my mind.

To turn my back on You, oh Lord, my only shelter from the storm

but instead I draw closer through these times.

So I pray,

Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free.

Bring me anything that brings You glory

and I know there’ll be days when this life brings me pain.

But if that’s what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain.

 

I am Yours regardless of the dark clouds that may loom above.

Because You are much greater than my pain.

You who made a way for me, by suffering Your destiny.

So tell me what’s a little rain.

So I pray,

 

Holy, holy, holy,

Is the Lord God Almighty.

     Love to all,
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 8, 2012
     Sunday, Sunday, beautiful Sunday! Another great service this morning. After the service I spoke with a woman that was undergoing chemo for a brain tumor. This is the second time since 2008 that she has undergone chemo. She had chemo and radiation  at the same time. She is trusting the Lord for her healing and is very cheerful. He husband though is mad at God and asked for us to pray for him. Her name is Pam and is very pretty, a registered nurse and loves the Lord.
     We went to Panera’s for me to get soup and a smoothie, which I couldn’t taste but it is calories and nutrition which the doctors want me to get plenty of. It is hard to eat food that has no taste. I eat because I have to not for the taste.
     We had an exciting Bible Study tonight. As usual it is the highlight of my week. We have discussions and teachings. We laugh a lot. Everyone loves the Lord and is pretty knowledgeable about the Bible so we have some deep discussions. Billy is an excellent teacher and controller of discussions. I wish you could join us for a Sunday.
     Early this morning Dorean called me with a Bible verse that she said was good for me. Actually, I used this verse the first time I had cancer and have not referred to it this time. I needed to be reminded of it. Paul had called on the Lord to make the thorn in his flesh leave him. Here is God’s answer to Paul in II Corinthians 12:9, 10.

But he said to me,

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses,

so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

For the sake of Christ then, I am content with

weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

     I am truly experiencing this, because I feel strong though my body is weak. It is a surreal experience because it is not normal to feel this way. Trusting in the Lord is truly a strengthening of mind body and soul.
     Tomorrow I begin again with treatments, bring it on. We are ready, by we I mean the Lord in me.
     Have a great day tomorrow.
     Remember God is good, God is good all the time.   
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 5, 2012
     14 down 16 to go. If they hadn’t taken off for the 4th I would be half way through. But now I will have to wait until Monday to be half way through.
     The side effects escalate with each treatment. The left side of my face is very red. I am putting everything on it that I can. I want to get rid of this redness before Monday which will make it much worse if I can’t get it cleared up. I keep putting drops in my eye several times a day. I can’t tell that it is doing much for the watering or itching. The other side of my nose has starting bleeding too. I reached behind my left ear to scratch something and came back with a handful of hair. Dr. Manon said I would lose my hair back there and it has started. It may not show much if I can pull the hair above it over the spot, providing I don’t lose a whole lot more.
     I came home after treatment today and was so tired I just put on my gown and went to bed. After a nice long nap I felt a little better.  I haven’t changed out of my gown and will be ready for bed when it gets a little later. Yesterday I took two naps. It is strange to be so tired that I don’t want to even bend over and pick up something that shouldn’t be on the floor or put a dish in the dishwasher. It is easier to just walk away from it and leave it alone. I don’t like to leave a lot of things for Billy to have to do when he comes home, but he does fill the dishwasher for me.
     Speaking of Billy, he fell today while getting up on the model of Jerusalem. He scratched his face and poked a hole in his hand. After all the years of stepping up into it this is the first time he has fallen. He said he got his feet tangled up.
     The picture was taken Wednesday while everyone was at the house for the day. That is McKenzie and Annie in my lap. Dorean took the  picture, it turned out pretty good. I usually take terrible pictured, but this one isn’t too bad. I’ll try to get pictures of the rest of the family to show you.
     I am looking forward to the week end and not having to drive over to MD Anderson for treatment. Such good things usually happen over the week ends.
     It is time to take this tired body to bed after doing all the fluoride and other treatments to my mouth. I’ll talk with you later.
     Have a lovely week end.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 4, 2012
    No treatment today! I will have to go in on Monday after my 6th week. I feel like I am adding time instead of making up time.
     It was a wonderful day! Dorean, Tim, Amanda McKenzie, Deanna, Matt, Rebekah and Rachel were here. They grilled and made ice cream and we played games. What fun we had! I ate soup that Matt made for me. It was a healthy soup, but my taste is not working now so I can’t judge the taste of it.  I ate some of the ice cream, our family favorite Mountain Dew, but didn’t taste it. The coldness felt good in my mouth though.
     The fireworks have already started and our poor little Annie is  shaking and staying right on top of us. She has never tolerated loud noises very well. I guess all doggies are like that. She is so sweet, I hate to see her all worked up. When we go to bed in awhile she will crawl up under the covers and get next to Billy and stay for the night.
     My post yesterday was a little different than most of them. I just wanted to post it with no comments. I felt it spoke for its self. Sometimes I have to talk myself out of pity parties and there is nothing like looking at Jesus on the cross to get over myself. There is nothing to compare to what He did for me that doesn’t pale in comparison.
     Tomorrow I  will start treatment again and I am glad to put another one behind me. I haven’t been tired today like I usually am on the days I have RT. I got my prescription filled for a pain medication that is liquid. It says to take it every 3 hours, but I don’t like to take pain medications often or for very long. I take it before I got to bed and can get to sleep easier than without it. My mouth is very sore and painful so I take the numbing medication before I eat anything. I can swallow so much easier and without pain. I still have to eat soft things but at least it doesn’t hurt to eat them.
     It has been a great day which I fully enjoyed. We had fun playing a game called Headband. The game has bands that you put around your head and cards that you place in a slot on the band. You don’t know what is on the card. It is something like an animal, food or a thing and you ask questions to see if you can guess what is on the card in one minute. If you guess you get another card until you use up the time. Even McKenzie played it and just couldn’t control herself from giving hints to everyone.
     I hope you had a fun 4th and spent some time with your families.
     So good day, my friends. God bless you all.
     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com

July 3, 2012

Dear Jesus,  

I was just thinking about myself and the  pain I am going through right now.

How every morning I awake to a new problem in my body.

There may be a new sore in my mouth that hurts,

or my eye is stuck shut with crust and waters at both corners.

Perhaps I have a nose bleed during the day or

I am hungry but nothing has taste and it hurts too much

to swallow anything.

Yes, I was thinking all of this when it came to me . . .

Is my pain anything compared to the pain You suffered at Calvary?

Is my problem even to be considered compared to dying on a cross?

Are the sores in my mouth anything to mention when You were

beaten with so many stripes over and over until Your back was shredded?

Your eyes, I think of Your eyes, full of love with the blood and sweat pouring into

them, was there no one to wipe them away?

Your blood, Your precious blood, was flowing from Your body,

so what is a little nose bleed?

Your hunger, Your great hunger, was that the chosen ones Your Father had

given You would spend eternity with You.

Your thirst, the only human trait You displayed on the cross,

was offered only vinegar.

Your pain, Your indescribable pain, was nothing compared to the

pain in Your heart.

Separation, though only for a short time,

separation from Your Father, with whom You had spent all of

eternity past was the worst pain of all.

You had endured the separation from the glorious heaven that You shared with

Your Father and all the angels.

Why were You suffering all of this?

So I could complain about my aches and pains while going

through a little trial on this earth?

No, no and again, no.

It was so I could turn to You

at this time in my life, this time that You are using these

things to bring me closer to You.

To make me understand and appreciate what You did

for me, undeserving me, on that cross on that day so long ago.

As tears run down my cheeks I realize they are tears of shame.

Shame for my selfishness, for my self pity.

Shame for not being thankful for what You have done and continue to do for me.

Who am I to think I don’t deserve what I am going through?

The tears bring me to repentance and thanks.

Thanks that You think me worthy to experience my small suffering in order to

know you better and be closer to You.

It is an honor to carry these little problems in my body and not complain

because of what You carried on Calvary for me.

Thank you Jesus.

Your loving and thankful child,

Mary Margaret