09/30/11

     There is really nothing new for today except that God remains real and very close to me. It is a wonderful experience to be resting in His grace and awesomeness. I did however, find a very lovely passage to leave with you. In is in James 1:2-4.
     "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
     James is a beautiful book full of precious verses. It is only 5 short chapters but so full of wisdom about faith and works. You might enjoy reading the whole book.
     Right now I truly feel like I am "lacking in nothing" because my faith has been has been tested and with grace it is steadfast. Thank you Jesus!

09/29/11

     Today Donna and I went to Orlando Regional Medical Center, ORMC to folks in Orlando. Of course there was a lot of waiting but I finally went in for my chest x-ray. The technicians kept asking me why he wanted the x-ray.I don't know why the doctor ordered it. Also, the technician had never heard of Merkel Cell Carcinoma. That's how rare it is. Next was the ultrasound. I found out that there is actually no difference in an ultrasound and a sonogram, according to the tech. Anyway, she said that if she found any swollen nodes a doctor will come and and biopsy them right away. Fortunately, she didn't find any. Yeah! So I was praising God for that blessing. This is truly a miracle from what I read about this form of cancer. Now all I need is the results from the x-ray and if that is clear I'll be home free. I means we caught it very early which is a miracle in its self. Please continue to pray about this one test result left. Donna and I went to lunch and came home and I have been very busy since then. I was planning on a nap but didn't get around to it.
     I found a verse this morning before going to ORMC. I hope it will bless you also. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (I Corinthians 12:14) I will now be grateful for my weaknesses because it means I will have more of His grace and His perfect power. WOW! I like that.
     This is enough for today. I sure would like to get some comments from some of you guys. I get a few comments but I hear that there are a lot of people following my blog. How about writing me? I would love to hear from you. Especially if I don't know you.

09/28/11

     Having been informed by my very smart daughters that I made some mistakes in my last post, I will  try to correct them. I'm not getting a sonograham (no kin to Billy Graham) I know it's sonogram. Anyway, I'm not getting one I'm getting an ultra sound. So that part is straightened out. There was some mix up about lymph node biopsy. I still don't get that part but I'll try to let you know when I figure it out. That is why I take one of my daughters to important appointments. Enough of that.
     Let me tell you what my family did for me last night. It was all Alyssa's (22 yrs) idea. Most of them were able to come to our house for a laying on of hands and prayer. It started by Benjamin (17 yrs) who played his guitar and sang the song on my blog, "Blessings" of course it made me cry. Alyssa gave me a Hebrew Prayer Shawl, which is very beautiful. (She also calls me everyday to check up on me.) What a sweetheart! I sat on a hassock in the middle of the floor with my prayer shawl around my shoulders, they all gathered around me and put hands on me and made me feel so much love. It was precious to me! I can't begin to tell you what a special family we have. It is because of them and so many other blessings God has given me that I feel so unworthy to ask Him for anything else. Yet, He continues to give; good  measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. (Luke 6:38) He is truly awesome!
     Tomorrow is the ultra sound and chest x-ray--one more thing behind me. Yeah! It is Donna's turn to go with me.
     I sure hope I spelled everything right this time. My spell check doesn't work for me. Ha

09/27/11

      Well, today was the appointment with my oncologist. I went to the MD Anderson Cancer Center. They are the premier group in this part of the country for cancer treatment. My doctor specializes in head and neck cancers.
     Dorean went with me because I don't remember things as well as I used to. All you "older" people may know what I am talking about. Dorean is very helpful with things like that. I have always said we share a brain, some days she has it, some days I have it. Lately she has it more than I do, especially the memory part.
     I had a lot of paperwork to fill out then went to an office and signed a lot of permission papers. I told the lady it was like buying a car. Then we waited and waited to be called to the back offices. Finally, they called my name and we got to go through the maze that took us to the examination room. I did the blood pressure, temperature and weight (ugh!) thing and we waited and waited some more. Another nurse came in and asked more questions, which took awhile. We waited and waited some more, by this time we had been there almost 2 hours. At last, Dr. Shellenburger came in. (See how I am building the suspense for you, because I am putting the information you have read this far to find out and really want to know, at the end.)
     Right away I liked Dr. Shellenburger. As he talked he looked at both Dorean and me. He was cautiously optimistic. He said it looked like we had caught it early, which was a good thing. He told us what Merkel Cell Carcinoma was (which we had already done a ton of research on the internet) and did tell us a few things we didn't know. We had a list of questions we were going to ask but he covered them all before we needed to ask them. What all this amounts to is, I will go in this Thursday for an ultrasound on the lymph nodes in my neck and a chest x-ray. (I could get that done by taking a plane somewhere.) The following Tuesday I go in for consultation on what the tests showed. If the lymph nodes look okay I will be going to the hospital for surgery on my face where the tumor was. He said it would extend the scar I already have and I told him it would be a shame to mess up this beautiful face, but if it had to be done go ahead.
Overall it was a good report. This is all a miracle to me. I can't believe how gracious my God is. I don't deserve His goodness but He gives it anyway. So much prayer has gone into this situation and I am very thankful to everyone that has remembered all of us in their prayers. It isn't over yet but things are looking much better than they did. One of my prayers was that I would like the doctor and I really do. I didn't dare ask for things to go this well but I feel so undeserving of it. Thank you, God. You are truly awesome!
   

09/26/11

Just got my appointment with the oncologist for tomorrow 09/27/11 at 9:15. Nice and early so I shouldn't have to wait long because of them running behind. Probably will be to set up whatever tests they plan to run. At least we are moving, finally.

09/26/11

By the way, after I posted last night I thought about using the word "blameless" in referring to me. Well, I am blameless because when chosen, God redeemed and sanctified me through Christ. Therefore, I am blameless in His sight, certainly not in the sight of men. Just wanted to clear up that little matter. Does that sound like a Calvinist? I hope so.

Here is a song that several people have sent me. The words are beautiful and cover my situation so well. I hope it will bless you as it has me. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqCfVuPd-QY:&feature=related

09/25/11

     There was a woman in the land of Florida whose name was Mary Margaret and that woman was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. There were born to her three daughters, four granddaughters, four grandsons and one great-granddaughter. Her daughters used to hold feasts in her house.

     Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and  Satan also came among them. The LORD said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the LORD and said, “From going to and fro on the earth and from walking up and down on it.” and the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Mary Margaret, that there is none like her on the earth, a blameless and upright woman, who fears God and turns away from evil?” Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Mary Margaret fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around her and her house and all that she has, on every side? You have blessed the work of her hands, and she has possessions. No harm has ever come to her or her family. Her life has been without trouble and her needs have always been supplied abundantly.” But Satan said , “Let me touch her with the disease of a small cancer.” And God said, “You may not touch her with the disease of a small cancer.” And Satan said, “Let me touch her with the disease of a melanoma cancer.” And God said, “You may not touch her with the disease of a melanoma cancer.” Then Satan said let me touch her with the disease of Merkel Cell Carcinoma.”  And God said, “Yes you may touch her with this most serious and rare cancer because she is a rare woman and it will prove to you her trust in me.” So Satan touched her with the serious and rare cancer.
     Her faith is strong, her family and friends are around her in prayer and her trust is wholly on her God. She knows God will provide His will to her and bless those who hold her up with their faith.
     I hope no one is offended by my putting myself in Job’s place. He was certainly a more Godly man than I am as a woman, but Satan still had to get permission to strike me with this cancer and God must be sure of my faith to allow him to do it. We are all somewhat in Job’s place at some time or other. It is so uplifting to know that the same God is still on His throne as He was with Job. There is no doubt in my mind that God’s will is going to prevail and I am going to be greatly blessed through this trial. In many ways I already have been. God bless you all and thanks for your comments and prayers.

09/23/11

     God gave me a Bible verse today. I Peter 5:10.
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
     I made several card size copies and have posted them all around the house where I can see them. I have been trying to memorize them but my memory is so bad. Maybe after a week or two I can get it down.
     Donna and Daniel took us our to Red Lobster for all you can eat shrimp. Boy, am I stuffed!
     It has been a good day. It always is when I get to spend time with my girls. I don't know if I can sleep with a full tummy but I'm going to try. Goodnight.

09/22/11

 I talked to a good friend in El Dorado today. He can make you laugh at the drop of a hat. After telling him my problems he said, “Well, it’s been great knowing you”. That may not sound funny or appropriate under the circumstances, but coming from James it was hilarious and gave me a good laugh for the day.
     Someone Billy works with sent home a prayer that he said the Lord had given him for me last night. It was very touching and I’m going to end today’s blog with the prayer. 

“Father in heaven, we thank you for you continual grace & mercy in our lives.

We praise You for all that You’ve done for us.

We thank You for the privilege of  working for Your kingdom. 

Father we believe in Your word & the work of your Son Jesus Christ.

In His name we ask for strength & blessings upon Bill & Mary.

We know You are with them & in them and we speak Your word by faith that

‘By His stripes we were healed’.

We rest in the completed work of Jesus, knowing our lives are in Your hands. 

Father, we ask for a special anointing upon doctors, nurses & staff,

that they be guided by Your will.

We speak peace over Mary & comfort.

Let her realize that You’re in control.

May the whole family be touched by the

'Peace that passes understanding’, and be strengthened by  the Comforter.

We receive Your strength today.

Lord, and submit to Your will.

We present our bodies a living sacrifice, holy & acceptable unto You

In Jesus name. Amen"

     How touching those words are coming from a godly man of faith. Thank you, Mike. I will be reading that prayer many times over the next few months. God bless you.

09/21/11

To all interested parties, I'm starting a blog. Last year I didn't even know what a blog was and I'm still not sure, but I know it is suppose to be better than email, which is the only thing I know about communicating on a computer. I know there is facebook but I don't understand how that works, so I am going to start this blog.
     The reason I decided to start the blog was to keep a record of my progress and keep my friends up on what will be happening since Monday 9/19/11. That is the day I found out that I have a rare cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It is an aggressive skin cancer that showed up on my left cheek (on my face, in case you were confused) as a little bump that I thought was a pimple, but it never progressed in that direction and just grew bigger under my skin. My dermatologist cut it out and showed it to me then cut it open to show me the inside. He told me they would send it off for a biopsy and I was to return in one week to get the stitches out. At that time he gave me the report that it was cancer. He said it was very aggressive, and more serious than a melanoma. (One website said it was a melanoma on steroids). Just what I wanted to hear without any warning! My first thought upon walking out of the office was to start praying for grace which I knew I was going to need plenty of. I prayed all the way out to my car and had a good cry there while calling out to God. I managed to drive to Dorean's house. She and Tim were home and I unloaded this news on them. As usual, Dorean was able to say just what I needed to hear. She is really good at that. I finally composed myself enough to drive home. Dorean called the rest of the family to come to our house that night that we had something to tell them. Dorean and Tim came to the house and were there when Billy came home and I told him. The family arrived and we talked through what we knew about the situation. Which wasn't much.
      That night as I was sitting alone after Billy had gone to bed I realized that I didn’t feel like the same person I was that morning. I thought back over the day and remembered how I felt walking into the doctor’s office; happy-go-lucky, not really a care in the world, and feeling reasonably healthy for a 71 year old. (Billy has a  saying he uses, ”Fat, dumb and happy. That was me.) The same person didn’t walk out of the doctor’s office. I was now a sick 71 year old with a deadly disease growing in my body. I had to change my outlook on life, change plans that I had made, focus on new things like doctor’s, treatments, medicines, disability and  hardest of all death. I realized that it wasn’t death that I was afraid of really, I  settled  that aspect of my life many years ago when God called me to become a Christian through His calling and Jesus completed work, and conviction of the Holy Spirit. That is the easy part, the hard part is what I will have to put my family through until this is finished.
     So tonight I have started the blog. At this time I am awaiting my doctor’s office to set an appointment for me with an oncologist. I won’t really know anything else until I have seen him. I just realized that I now have a General Physician, a Neurologist, an Ophthalmologist, a Dermatologist, a Dentist, an Orthopedist, a Veterinarian, I even heard that a Plastic Surgeon might be involved (I wouldn’t mind a PS if I could get him to work on my eyes and neck), and I guess I’ll add my hair dresser and manicurist to the list of the people I am helping to support. Why does the government need to raise taxes? Just send a few more people my way.
     Best of all I have the Great Physician in my corner! I am completely and fully resting in the grace of God with only peace, not fear or concern in my heart. God’s grace is more than sufficient it is AWESOME ! ! ! ! ! !
     I’ll end this writing with one of my favorite songs that I send to people when trials enter their lives.

"He Giveth More Grace”

by Annie J. Flint

He giveth more grace as our burdens  grow greater,

He sendeth more strength as our labors increase,

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,

To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of  endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded  resources

Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.