To all interested parties, I'm starting a blog. Last year I didn't even know what a blog was and I'm still not sure, but I know it is suppose to be better than email, which is the only thing I know about communicating on a computer. I know there is facebook but I don't understand how that works, so I am going to start this blog.
The reason I decided to start the blog was to keep a record of my progress and keep my friends up on what will be happening since Monday 9/19/11. That is the day I found out that I have a rare cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It is an aggressive skin cancer that showed up on my left cheek (on my face, in case you were confused) as a little bump that I thought was a pimple, but it never progressed in that direction and just grew bigger under my skin. My dermatologist cut it out and showed it to me then cut it open to show me the inside. He told me they would send it off for a biopsy and I was to return in one week to get the stitches out. At that time he gave me the report that it was cancer. He said it was very aggressive, and more serious than a melanoma. (One website said it was a melanoma on steroids). Just what I wanted to hear without any warning! My first thought upon walking out of the office was to start praying for grace which I knew I was going to need plenty of. I prayed all the way out to my car and had a good cry there while calling out to God. I managed to drive to Dorean's house. She and Tim were home and I unloaded this news on them. As usual, Dorean was able to say just what I needed to hear. She is really good at that. I finally composed myself enough to drive home. Dorean called the rest of the family to come to our house that night that we had something to tell them. Dorean and Tim came to the house and were there when Billy came home and I told him. The family arrived and we talked through what we knew about the situation. Which wasn't much.
That night as I was sitting alone after Billy had gone to bed I realized that I didn’t feel like the same person I was that morning. I thought back over the day and remembered how I felt walking into the doctor’s office; happy-go-lucky, not really a care in the world, and feeling reasonably healthy for a 71 year old. (Billy has a saying he uses, ”Fat, dumb and happy. That was me.) The same person didn’t walk out of the doctor’s office. I was now a sick 71 year old with a deadly disease growing in my body. I had to change my outlook on life, change plans that I had made, focus on new things like doctor’s, treatments, medicines, disability and hardest of all death. I realized that it wasn’t death that I was afraid of really, I settled that aspect of my life many years ago when God called me to become a Christian through His calling and Jesus completed work, and conviction of the Holy Spirit. That is the easy part, the hard part is what I will have to put my family through until this is finished.
So tonight I have started the blog. At this time I am awaiting my doctor’s office to set an appointment for me with an oncologist. I won’t really know anything else until I have seen him. I just realized that I now have a General Physician, a Neurologist, an Ophthalmologist, a Dermatologist, a Dentist, an Orthopedist, a Veterinarian, I even heard that a Plastic Surgeon might be involved (I wouldn’t mind a PS if I could get him to work on my eyes and neck), and I guess I’ll add my hair dresser and manicurist to the list of the people I am helping to support. Why does the government need to raise taxes? Just send a few more people my way.
Best of all I have the Great Physician in my corner! I am completely and fully resting in the grace of God with only peace, not fear or concern in my heart. God’s grace is more than sufficient it is AWESOME ! ! ! ! ! !
I’ll end this writing with one of my favorite songs that I send to people when trials enter their lives.
The reason I decided to start the blog was to keep a record of my progress and keep my friends up on what will be happening since Monday 9/19/11. That is the day I found out that I have a rare cancer called Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It is an aggressive skin cancer that showed up on my left cheek (on my face, in case you were confused) as a little bump that I thought was a pimple, but it never progressed in that direction and just grew bigger under my skin. My dermatologist cut it out and showed it to me then cut it open to show me the inside. He told me they would send it off for a biopsy and I was to return in one week to get the stitches out. At that time he gave me the report that it was cancer. He said it was very aggressive, and more serious than a melanoma. (One website said it was a melanoma on steroids). Just what I wanted to hear without any warning! My first thought upon walking out of the office was to start praying for grace which I knew I was going to need plenty of. I prayed all the way out to my car and had a good cry there while calling out to God. I managed to drive to Dorean's house. She and Tim were home and I unloaded this news on them. As usual, Dorean was able to say just what I needed to hear. She is really good at that. I finally composed myself enough to drive home. Dorean called the rest of the family to come to our house that night that we had something to tell them. Dorean and Tim came to the house and were there when Billy came home and I told him. The family arrived and we talked through what we knew about the situation. Which wasn't much.
That night as I was sitting alone after Billy had gone to bed I realized that I didn’t feel like the same person I was that morning. I thought back over the day and remembered how I felt walking into the doctor’s office; happy-go-lucky, not really a care in the world, and feeling reasonably healthy for a 71 year old. (Billy has a saying he uses, ”Fat, dumb and happy. That was me.) The same person didn’t walk out of the doctor’s office. I was now a sick 71 year old with a deadly disease growing in my body. I had to change my outlook on life, change plans that I had made, focus on new things like doctor’s, treatments, medicines, disability and hardest of all death. I realized that it wasn’t death that I was afraid of really, I settled that aspect of my life many years ago when God called me to become a Christian through His calling and Jesus completed work, and conviction of the Holy Spirit. That is the easy part, the hard part is what I will have to put my family through until this is finished.
So tonight I have started the blog. At this time I am awaiting my doctor’s office to set an appointment for me with an oncologist. I won’t really know anything else until I have seen him. I just realized that I now have a General Physician, a Neurologist, an Ophthalmologist, a Dermatologist, a Dentist, an Orthopedist, a Veterinarian, I even heard that a Plastic Surgeon might be involved (I wouldn’t mind a PS if I could get him to work on my eyes and neck), and I guess I’ll add my hair dresser and manicurist to the list of the people I am helping to support. Why does the government need to raise taxes? Just send a few more people my way.
Best of all I have the Great Physician in my corner! I am completely and fully resting in the grace of God with only peace, not fear or concern in my heart. God’s grace is more than sufficient it is AWESOME ! ! ! ! ! !
I’ll end this writing with one of my favorite songs that I send to people when trials enter their lives.
"He Giveth More Grace”
by Annie J. Flint
He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase,
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
Hi Mary! What a wonderful thing to create this blog so that you can share what is going on with you and so others can follow what is going on and pray. Matt called us earlier this week and told us about your news and we have begun to pray for you nightly. We have recently started a new tradition with Laramie...we are praying specific prayers with her and as those prayers are answered, we are writing them on a buttlerfly wall sticker (that I found at the dollar store!) and decorating her room with them. We want her to see evidence of God's grace even at a young age. We hope to be able to write "Mary's cancer is gone!" on one of those butterflies very soon :-) Love, Luke, Destiny and Laramie
ReplyDeleteGood job....Keep this up to date for us....
ReplyDeleteMimi, Joel and I were very upset to hear this news. I know this is not going to be easy, but you are one of the strongest women I know! I am inspired by by your faith in the first week of hearing this news. I know others (myself included) are going to grow in our faith by hearing your story. Please know that Joel and I are praying for healing.
ReplyDeleteIf you have any questions about blogging let me know. I love it!
joelandcarissahoward.blogspot.com
Hello Mimi, my heart hurts thinking of you suffering and I told Nicu yesterday that sometimes you wish so bad for the close ones to never go through suffering or even die. But I just had my quiet time from Revelation, and I was so encouraged by a verse that says that God's acts are just and true. and I was reading all the way through the 22nd chapter and was thinking by myself and for myself that my life here on earth cannot be compare with the life to come, with the reign of Christ in which we will be part of. I love the hope which is in you and Pastor Bill. You both are such a sweet perfume of Christ in this world. And thank you very much for starting this blog, I feel like being there with you.
ReplyDeleteThe little Nikolas is doing very good, growing and constantly hitting his mom....such a good feeling. We are praying for you both and we love you very much.
Looking forward to the next posts from happy Mimi.
That was me, Marta :)
ReplyDeleteand the song is great!!!
ReplyDelete