July 17, 2012
     I am down to single digits now, 9 more to go! The time can not pass fast enough. I am so ready to get down to the mending part of this journey.
     I have been reading a book that a friend sent to my Kindle. In God’s Underground by Richard Wurmbrand. If you aren’t familiar with him, he is the founder of Voice of the Martyrs, a ministry that ministers to the Christians being persecuted. They reach all around the world and put out a monthly magazine with stories of the things that Christians are going through in some of the countries where Christians are dying and suffering for the cause of Christ. He was put in prison for 14 years in Romania during the takeover of Communism and later put in solitary confinement for over two years. He was a minister and known for being a Christian and the Communist wanted him to turn to their political way and deny Christ. He wouldn’t, and was tortured severely over and over. During the time he was in solitary confinement he was bothered by the silence and questioned God as to why he was alone and surrounded by silence. Even the guards wore felt on the bottom of their shoes so the prisoners couldn’t here them coming. He writes his thoughts during this time. . . “I wondered how you could praise God by a life of silence. At first I prayed greatly to be released. I asked. ‘”You have said in   Scripture that it is not good that a man should be alone; why do You keep me alone?’” But as days passed into weeks my only visitor was still the guard, who brought wedges of black bread and watery soup, and never spoke a word. . .  Perhaps in this silence I was coming closer to God.  . . I began to realize my real personality, and made sure that it belonged to Christ. I found that even here my thoughts and feelings turned to God and that I could pass night after night in prayer, spiritual exercise, and praise. I knew now that I was not play-acting, believing what I believed.”
     I can understand in the smallest and simplest way how he felt about being alone and turning to God. That is what I do while in the radiation machine. I am completely alone both in the machine and in the room. At one point several days ago I felt as close to God as I ever have. I think I wrote about it in my blog. I was praying and felt like there was a Holy Presence with me in the machine. It was    awesome! This is a book worth reading, I highly recommend it. It is amazing what God can bring someone through that is trusting and resting in Him. It has been the biggest blessing while going through all of this to see God working in my own life and how He has changed my heart attitude about so many things. What used to be important no longer is and now there are other things that are important to me. I am so happy about the changes that God has brought about in me.
     Thank you, Dear Lord, for you never ending work in my life. 
     Have a blessed night. Tell someone you love them, and mean it.
     Mary Margaret

     The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
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