July 3, 2012

Dear Jesus,  

I was just thinking about myself and the  pain I am going through right now.

How every morning I awake to a new problem in my body.

There may be a new sore in my mouth that hurts,

or my eye is stuck shut with crust and waters at both corners.

Perhaps I have a nose bleed during the day or

I am hungry but nothing has taste and it hurts too much

to swallow anything.

Yes, I was thinking all of this when it came to me . . .

Is my pain anything compared to the pain You suffered at Calvary?

Is my problem even to be considered compared to dying on a cross?

Are the sores in my mouth anything to mention when You were

beaten with so many stripes over and over until Your back was shredded?

Your eyes, I think of Your eyes, full of love with the blood and sweat pouring into

them, was there no one to wipe them away?

Your blood, Your precious blood, was flowing from Your body,

so what is a little nose bleed?

Your hunger, Your great hunger, was that the chosen ones Your Father had

given You would spend eternity with You.

Your thirst, the only human trait You displayed on the cross,

was offered only vinegar.

Your pain, Your indescribable pain, was nothing compared to the

pain in Your heart.

Separation, though only for a short time,

separation from Your Father, with whom You had spent all of

eternity past was the worst pain of all.

You had endured the separation from the glorious heaven that You shared with

Your Father and all the angels.

Why were You suffering all of this?

So I could complain about my aches and pains while going

through a little trial on this earth?

No, no and again, no.

It was so I could turn to You

at this time in my life, this time that You are using these

things to bring me closer to You.

To make me understand and appreciate what You did

for me, undeserving me, on that cross on that day so long ago.

As tears run down my cheeks I realize they are tears of shame.

Shame for my selfishness, for my self pity.

Shame for not being thankful for what You have done and continue to do for me.

Who am I to think I don’t deserve what I am going through?

The tears bring me to repentance and thanks.

Thanks that You think me worthy to experience my small suffering in order to

know you better and be closer to You.

It is an honor to carry these little problems in my body and not complain

because of what You carried on Calvary for me.

Thank you Jesus.

Your loving and thankful child,

Mary Margaret