June 29, 2012

    10 down 20 to go 2 weeks down 4 to go!

     Friday, I love Fridays! It means I get two days off from radiation. My mouth is getting  uncomfortable with sores in many places. The worst is at the back of my throat and along the left side of my tongue. It is getting hard to swallow anything but liquids. I tried to eat an orange when I came home this morning and I couldn’t get anything down but the juice. I had soup for lunch and the hot liquid felt good in my mouth but hard to swallow. I can’t imagine what it will be like in 4 weeks. I am hoping that these sores will clear up before more come. The mouth washes are supposed to help with this, I am thankful I don’t have to go through this without them.

     Today in the machine was truly a blessing.  Prayer today was “praise and thanksgiving.” I had what I’m calling, a “holy epiphany” while praying and praising God. I was praising and thanking Him for what Jesus did on the cross for me. He went through all that because He loved me and wanted me to be able to spend eternity with Him. I know I have believed and talked about what He did on the cross for many years but He gave me an illustration today that made it more personal to me. While listening to the noise of the machine and my Christian CD of Aaron-Jeffery playing over the noise, it came to me that because of my love for my girls, I would be willing to climb into that machine everyday for the rest of my life if they didn’t have to go through this themselves. Tears were running down my eyes as the reality of how that compared with what Jesus did. My sacrifice would be on such a miniscule proportion to what He did that it isn’t much of a comparison, but it did bring it home to me. All this was an   amazing blessing to me and the time flew by and ended before I could get to all my praise and thanksgiving to Him.

     When I walked out of the movie “Passion of the Christ” I said to my son-in-law, Daniel, that I feel like I was actually at the crucifixion. The thought popped into my head clear as if someone had said it out loud, it said, “You were, your sins were there as Jesus paid for them.” It dawned on me that the very worst of who I am was there and He suffered for me anyway.

     The picture tonight is of my Jerusalem stone that I take into treatment with me. If you don’t remember my former explanation here it is. Billy was in Jerusalem a few years ago. He does a lecture at The Holy Land Experience of the Jerusalem model that is there. While in Israel he did a lecture on the model that is there. It is larger than the one at THLE and is outdoors. The  gentleman that usually did the lecture graciously allowed Billy to do it for him. He was not a Messianic Jew but while Billy was doing the lecture he scratched the cross into this piece of stone and gave it to him. He told Billy that he was very impressed with what he said in the lecture. The stone is meaningful only because it came from Israel and from the place where  Jesus actually walked. It has no power, it is just a stone. It is also a testimony because I have had the opportunity to tell people about its meaning to me.

     I am posting this early because I will probably want to go to bed early tonight. We have to take Billy’s car over to Deanna’s so they can borrow it to pick up Matt and his three brothers tomorrow at Ocala. The were helping Matt’s twin brother move from Colorado to Ocala.

So good day, my friends. God bless you all.

     Mary Margaret

The big "C" in me is Christ enabling me to deal with the little "c" which is the cancer!
Don’t forget to E-mail me . . .

angel8mmj@gmail.com