10/23/11

     This morning before the message, I gave my testamony of what God had done for me during my battle with cancer. Some of it had already been posted on my blog so it will be familiar to you. I picked what I thought was the best of what God had given me. Many of the people had not seen my blog, so it was fitting for the occasion. Now that I have made it through this one time I believe that I can do it again if the Lord gives me opportunity and I hope He does.

    

 The Lord has laid on my heart that I would be very remiss if I did not give public testimony concerning the miracle He performed in my life. I am not comfortable with public speaking, but neither was Jesus comfortable on the cross for me. This thought has given me courage.

      Let me first tell you some information on Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It is very rare, only about 1,500 people in the US are diagnosed with it each year. 1,500 out of 300 million is not very many. It is also very aggressive. Of the 1,500 each year diagnosed about 1,000 of them do not survive. Which leaves around 500 that survive, I am one of those survivors. 1out of 1,500 out of 300 million, what are the odds of that? I should buy a lottery ticket.
     From the moment I heard the diagnosis on September 21 until the day my doctor told me there was no more signs of cancer on October 18, just under a month, I knew I was completely in God’s hands. I never worried, I never prayed for healing. I knew there were many in my family and around the world praying for that. I prayed that His will be done and that I would bring glory to the name of Christ.
This is a copy of the note I wrote to give to my doctor right before surgery.
Dear Doctor Shellenberger,
     I just want you to know that no matter how things turn out, no matter how wonderful the job you do with my surgery, you will have my eternal thanks, but the glory will go to God. He is with you and with me also.
God Bless You,
Mary Margaret Jones
P.S. I hope you are a good seamstress. You don’t want to mess up this beautiful face. Ha ha.
     When I went to my final appointment with him, he told me he was carrying that note in his breast pocket.
     I posted this message on my blog after my surgery.
     Not meaning to brag, but God has awarded me a badge of honor. Truly, I was in a battle against Satan. We fought over my faith, my trust, my beliefs, my grace and God’s glory. With    God as my Commander in Chief and me as a private we marched into battle. God was before   me as my protector with me following close behind Him clothed in the whole armor of God. Oh, I was something to behold having fastened on the Belt of Truth, my Breastplate of Righteousness covering my heart, my feet were shod in the Readiness given by the Gospel of Peace. I took up the Shield of Faith to extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one. My head was covered with the Helmet of Salvation and in my hand was the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. (Ephesians 6:14-17) Nothing could touch me, not even the worst Satan could throw my way. What a beautiful badge it is!
     “What is your badge of honor?” you ask. It is a two inch scar down my left cheek which I will proudly wear. For it will be a reminder of God’s love to me, His sovereignty over all matters in my life, His protection and willingness to lead me into what was my battle for my life as a Christian. Christ had already taken all the blows, for me on the cross.
     These words in Ephesians have taken on new meaning for me. They are alive and real in me, flowing through my bloodstream. God has provided us with all we need to stand against Satan and his demons. Through everything He is with us fighting harder than we ever could. If God is with us, who can be against us? No one, nothing.

     We will be leaving tomorrow for our cruise. I will not be able to post but will bring you up to date when I get back. I have a little book to put down interesting and exciting things that happen on our trip. We all are planning to spend a great deal of time in one of those deck chairs reading and relaxing while the ship is at sea. That's what we'll be doing when we are not eating. There will be plenty of that. A friend likes to say that you go on board as a passenger and come off as cargo. I wish all of you could come along. We are thinking about having a teaching cruise, Billy will be teaching, sometime if we can get our cruise agent to work it out for us. You can come on that one, I hope. Bye, bye for now. Will talk again in 11 days, November 5.

10/22/11

     Today was an unusual day in some ways. I finished packing except for the things I was going to need until we left for the cruise. Then went to my favorite part of Saturday morning, Bible study at Dorean’s. She is the teacher and a good one. We are looking at the sovereignty of God from a book by A. W. Pink. WOW! What an eye opener it is. I’m going to miss the next two weeks. We will be gone next week and McKenzie’s birthday party is the next Saturday. The study went long because we get to talking and when we have closing prayer we still keep talking. It is a great group.
     When I finally got home I had to finish the bulletins for church for tomorrow and next Sunday when we will have a guest speaker because we will be on our cruise. (See how I keep throwing that cruise in there?)
     I was planning to work on this post for the blog and write up a testimony that I’m going to give tomorrow.   Instead I got a phone call from Donna saying her back was hurting really bad and would I go to the ER with her. Of course, I said yes. We got to the ER at about 4:20. You know how those things go so we finally left at almost 8:30. They gave her 2 bags of glucose, a CAT Scan, pain medication and said it was probably a muscular skeletal  episode. She was feeling better by the time she left, thank you Lord! I told her if I could be cured of cancer so I could go on this cruise she could sure get over her back pain so we could go. I am beginning to wonder if Satan doesn’t want us to take this trip for some reason. We all need it for a refreshing of body and mind. God will take care of refreshing the Spirit.
     Good night all.

10/21/11

      I spent most of the day packing for our cruise. I need to take enough for eleven days. That is almost everything I own! It took me awhile to put outfits together with shoes and jewelry (I must have my jewelry). I know I have over packed but that is better than running out of clothes. Christmas of 2010 Billy gave me two nice pieces of luggage and I think that is all I am going to need. He got out four pieces of luggage for himself, he doesn’t need that much, but I have to let him find that out for himself.

     There are things that have to be taken care of. Amanda, Michael and McKenzie are going to house sit for us while we are gone. Annie, our dog, and Sassy, our cat need someone to take care of them and McKenzie loves to do that. I needed to clean up a few things around the house for them, then went to get a manicure and pedicure. Hey, this is important  stuff for us ladies!
     I stopped at the grocery store and while standing in the check out line the lady behind me commented on the Duke’s Mayonnaise in my cart. It was by one get one free and she said she loves Duke’s. We got to talking about things and found we had a lot in common. I told her about my recent experience and that I was now  cancer free and she said, “Praise the Lord.” I gave her my blog address and she said she would look at it.  Isn’t it great to make a new friend over Duke’s Mayonnaise? I just love these little extras the Lord gives us throughout the day.
     I came home a listened to one of Dr. Sproul’s sermons and have managed to be busy since then. It is time for bed and I am looking forward to a great day tomorrow. Bible study at Dorean’s house!
     Verses for today: James 1:22-25
"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevers, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing."
     Let's go out there and be a doer!

10/20/11

     God is faithful in many, many way. I have been praying about my “survivors guilt” because I know it is wrong and He gave me a verse that He has given me before, but being the human being that I am I needed to be reminded of it again. James 1:2-4 says;

“Count it all joy, my brothers,

when you meet trials of various kinds,

for you know that the testing of  your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect,

that you man be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

The notes in my ESV Bible say; “Count it all joy. This is a call to understand suffering from the vantage point of confidence in God’s sovereignty. What follows requires careful thinking from a theological perspective.”

“testing. Trials can be considered pure joy only when there is knowledge that they are designed by God for a purpose. They are tests of faith given in order to develop perseverance. In turn, perseverance produces mature Christian character.”

     I cannot feel guilty because God performed His will in my life for he is sovereign . He gave me the trial that would  provide Him the most glory through me. To be a conduit to serve the purpose of providing glory to Him is a great honor and if my healing is what He performed in me I can only praise Him for it.

     There is no end to His love and faithfulness to us who are called according to His purpose. Can I hear a big AMEN?

10/19/11

     Today Billy and I visited our friend, Ann and took her some vittles. She was in great spirits, as she always is and her faith is strong. She has been through so much and has much to go through before she can be declared cancer free. Ann is a precious lady who brings laughter, joy and Christian love where ever she is. She told us of her experiences thus far in her medical tests and time in the hospital. There have been many mistakes made, like someone coming to take blood and she sees someone else’s name on the order. They weren’t even supposed to be taking her blood. She got two prescriptions with the wrong name on them and had to wait over a week to get that corrected. She has to laugh about all this because the alternative is not the way she reacts to things that come into her life, be they good or bad. It is a lovely experience to be with her.
     She is the only person I told about a little problem I am having. You have heard about “survivors guilt.” I am actually experiencing some of that. In the doctor’s office I see people in wheel chairs, on crutches, ugly scares, loss of hair and people that can hardly walk. I sit there looking like I always have, experiencing no pain having gone through the little inconvenience that I have. Being around Ann made me feel even more of that because she has gone through a lot and has a long way to go. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty because this is what God had given me for my experience, but I just don’t understand why. I’m not questioning why I went through what I did, but why I did not go through more like so many others have. I think I just feel so unworthy of this blessing and think someone like Ann should have had my experience. I have been feeling this way for awhile, but today it really hit me. I am going to have to pray about this. I am thankful for what God has done for me and I know it isn’t right to question Him. I need to get this straightened out in my head and heart. He will help me, I know.
     Don’t let me bring you down. I’m still loving the Lord and joyful in my walk with Him. I can’t praise Him enough. I just need a bigger platform to shout it from.
     Thanks for listening. Love to all.

10/18/11

     My final doctor’s appointment on my cancer was this afternoon. I was looking forward to it because I would get to see my favorite doctor, Dr. Shellenberger. Deanna went with me in case there was bad news. I really wasn’t expecting bad news and I didn’t get any. Everything was negative, all the lymph nodes and the tissue taken from the tumor site. PRAISE THE LORD! They took my stitches out and gave me a little band aid to cover the scars for a couple of days.

     Dr. Shellenberger told he carried the note I gave him before I went into surgery. It read:

Dear Doctor Shellenberger,

     I just want you to know that no matter how things turn out, no matter how wonderful the job you do with my surgery, you will have my eternal thanks, but the glory will go to God.  He is with you and with me also.

     God bless you,

     Mary Margaret Jones
     P.S. I hope you are a good seamstress. You don’t want to mess up this beautiful face. Ha ha.

He patted his breast pocket and said “It’s in here, I always carry it with me.” That is unbelievable! Now you see why he is my favorite doctor. He also gave me a big hug. I made him one of my cards and inside was the history of the caduceus which is the symbol for medical doctors. He didn’t know where it originated and was happy to find out. In case you don’t know, it came from the time the Israelites were in the wilderness and were bitten by snakes and were dying. God told Moses to put a brass snake on a pole and the people were to look at it and they would live. Ergo the caduceus.
     I recommended the book Heaven , by Randy Alcorn, the other day. Here is an excerpt from the book that meant a lot to me.
“. . . you see someone coming toward you. It’s Jesus, with a big smile on his face. You fall to your knees in worship. He pulls you up and embraces you.
     At last, you’re with the person you were made for, in the place you were made to be.”
As soon as I read it I began to cry. The thought of being with Jesus, the person I was made for, in heaven, the place I was made to be. That just hit me as amazing. I printed it up and framed it and it hangs at my front door.
     This was a good day! Thank you Lord!

10/17/11

     This was sent to me by a dear friend. She is going through a testing herself. The doctors have just

discovered she has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Ann often sends me these little devotionals via e mail, she is a precious Christian lady and I would like to ask you to pray for her. We love her and know God is going to work a mighty work in her. 
     Don’t we all need continuity in our lives? It is true we so often change our attitudes as the wind blows. Those daily talks with Him are priceless to our hearts attitude. I must continually remind myself of this. It is so easy to skip time with Him for something that comes up that has no eternal value whatsoever.

CONTINUITY

Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures.
Psalm 119:90
FROM THE FATHER'S HEART
My child, nothing ever changes about My character. I am the same, day after day. But you are like a chameleon, changing "colors" and attitudes as often as the weather. I understand, My child. I know you are as dust. But let My continuity be an example of faithfulness to you. Daily, come, sit and talk with Me. The more we get together, the more stable your life will become. My ultimate goal is to make you like Me so others will see My reflection in your life.
A GRATEFUL RESPONSE
My life is so seasonal, Lord. In springtime, I bask in Your showers of blessing; in summer, I rest in Your grace; in fall, I'm that leaf hanging on for dear life; and in winter, I'm as cold as icy glaze. But with Your continuity, forever the same, it's always springtime in my heart.
SIMPLE TRUTH
Jesus gives a standing invitation: He requests the honor of your presence—daily

10/17/11

10/16/11

     Sunday, what a wonderful day! Precious church service, songs about the holiness of God and a tasty fish dinner at McCormick & Schmick’s. We even worked in a long nap. It doesn’t get better than that. Bible study tonight was, as always, a fun and enlightening experience. We have the best group of people with a melding of personalities that works. In our study Moses is before Pharaoh but Pharaoh’s heart is hard against God. I guess people are the same through the ages. There are still many people whose heart is hard against God. It looks like there are more of them that us. All I can say is Maranatha! Come quickly Lord!

     In reading in the Psalms today I read Psalm 104. It talked about God being clothed with splendor and majesty. The first two versed develop a metaphor of the creation as God’s garment. When we look at the beauty of this earth, the mountains, the flowers, the beautiful birds and the stars, we can remember that God chose to cloth Himself with the beauty they represent. He is everywhere, how can we not acknowledge Him? None are without excuse when it comes to knowing there is a God. Thank You Lord! Bless the LORD, O my soul!

O LORD my God, you are very great!

You are clothed with splendor and majesty,

covering yourself with light as with a garment,

stretching out the heavens like a tent.

Psalm 104:1-2

10/15/11

     Great day today, I got a nap that always makes for a good day as far as I’m concerned.

     I was reading Romans 12 this morning. I’m actually going through Romans with     R. C. Sproul. If you would like a great Bible study go to Ligonier.com then, learn, sermons and you have a choice between Romans or John. His church is in Longwood which is not far from where we live. Dorean and Tim go over there to church occasionally.
     Romans 12 begins with “I beseech you therefore, bretheren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” I’ve always thought these were great verses and something we all need to do, but the only trouble with a “living sacrifice” is that it keeps crawling off the alter.
     We are also encouraged to renew our minds. In the dictionary “renew” is defined as: 1. to make new or as if new again, make fresh or strong again 2. to cause to exist again; reestablish. This means to get all the old useless, wrong things out of our minds and reestablish our minds with spiritual things. I found that Bible reading was a great way to fill my mind with spiritual things. Christian music, Christian friends, spiritual reading materials. These things fill our minds with godly inspirations. I have found some very good Christian novels. I can also recommend books by Randy Alcorn, especially his books Heaven and We Shall See God. There is a plethora of good Christian material out there.
     That is the sermon for tonight. (Didn't mean to get preachy.) May your Sunday be as blessed as I’m sure mine will be. God bless.

10/14/12

My Badge of Honor and I went out into the real world for the first time today. We made a trip to Wal-Mart. I actually forgot about my scar until I noticed a couple of people look rather intently at me. Then there were two that did a very obvious double take my way. I laughed to myself and said in my head, “That’s okay, it won’t bother me if you look.” It  does stand out rather strongly right now since the stitches are still in it. There are little black things sticking out which makes it look like a black caterpillar. I know it is going to look better when the stitches come out on Tuesday. There is a large swollen bump in front of my ear, but that is going down with ice packs several times a day. I have discovered that they shaved my hair from in front of my ear up about five inches. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t able to make my hair do right on that side. I can arrange it so that it isn’t noticeable. Genny, my hair cutter, is going to have a fit when she sees it.

     I find that I am a bit fearful of direct sun on my face. I have a good sunscreen but don't know that I trust it completely. Someone is coming Wednesday to put a darker film on the front windows of both our cars. I get most of my sun while in one of the cars. So many things are different now, but still in God’s hands.
     Life is getting back to normal around here. I washed clothes yesterday, I’m cooking dinner tonight. Meat loaf, but no ordinary meat loaf, this is made with ground turkey, sausage, Greek  yogurt and other good stuff. Come to Florida for a taste sometime.
     Thanks to all of you that have been faithful in reading my blog. It means a lot that you are interested in my comings and goings. I would like to hear from more of you at:

angel8mmj@gmail.com   

10/12/11

    Not meaning to brag, but God has awarded me a badge of honor. Truly, I was in a battle against Satan. We fought over my faith, my trust, my beliefs, my grace and God’s glory. With God as my Commander in Chief and me as a private we marched into battle.  God was before me as my protector with me following close behind Him clothed in the whole armor of God. Oh, I was something to behold having fastened on the Belt of Truth, my Breastplate of Righteousness covering my heart, my feet were shod in the Readiness given by the Gospel of Peace. I took up the Shield of Faith to extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one. My head was covered with the Helmet of Salvation and in my hand was the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. (Ephesians 6:14-17) Nothing could touch me, not even the worst Satan could throw my way.

     These words have taken on new meaning for me. They are alive and real in me, flowing through my bloodstream. God has provided us with all we need to stand against Satan and his demons. Through everything He is with us fighting harder than we ever could. If God is with us, who can be against us? No one, nothing.
     “What is your badge of honor?” you ask. It is a  two inch scar down my left cheek which I will proudly wear. For it will be a reminder of God’s love to me, His sovereignty over all matters in my life, His protection and willingness to lead me into what was my battle for my life as a Christian. He had already taken all the blows, for me on the cross.
What a beautiful badge it is!   

10/11/11

Sorry about not writing yesterday, but Dorean did a good job for me. I told her I would give you the whole story today. I was just too tired to think. It was a very full, busy and tiring day but a blessing too.

     Billy and I left the house at 7:00 am and got to the hospital a little early thinking things would move along ahead of time, but not so. Hospital time is not the same as our time. Actually we didn’t get but one hour behind my scheduled surgery.
     After checking in we went to Nuclear Medicine and I was taken back to a room with a big x-ray type machine. A very nice male nurse was telling me what to expect. It didn’t sound too bad except for the radiation injections. He said they would sting like a bee. A very nice lady doctor came in to administer the injections. She apologized ahead of time telling me the injections would sting pretty bad. I was to get four,(as the nurse put it north, south, east and west) one around the place on my cheek where the tumor had been. The nurse brought the injections in encased in four things that looked like small bombs, about twelve inches high. He screwed off the top and the syringes were in them. The nice lady doctor said “I will let you know when I insert the needle and when I will start the injection.” Well, the needle was really nothing so I thought I had it made, but when she started putting in the radiation it felt like a mixture of crushed glass and Tabasco Sauce. IT REALLY HURT! When that process was finished the machine had to map the radiation to see which lymph node that part of my cheek drained to. They would remove that one in surgery.
     Finally, I was prepped for surgery. So many tubes, questions and nurses around me. I don’t even remember going out. They snuck that one in on me. They usually tell you or ask you to count backwards or something. Two and a half hours later I woke up with the sorest throat I've ever had. I finally got some ice chips which helped but only a little. I got two incisions, one where the tumor had been and one right in front of my left ear where they took out the lymph node. I was in one recovery room for a while then they moved to a different room after they had unhooked everything except the pressure cuff. I have to have the cuff on below my elbow or it hurts so bad that my blood pressure will go way up. This cute male nurse moved it up and I didn’t realize it at the time. The first time it went off he walked by and I said “Cutie Pie, the cuff was lower for a reason.” I said it sweetly. Cutie Pie” popped out before I knew it. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I have to watch myself when I have that “happy juice” they gave me.
     Billy and the girls came back and said the doctor had given a good report. He said they would have the results of the biopsy when I came to the office on Tuesday next week and the lymph node looked good and that I could go home. YEAH! I was so happy that I didn’t have to stay in the hospital over night. Thank You Lord!
     Many people at the hospital said “Good luck” to me. I told them, luck has nothing to do with it, I am counting on the Great Physician to take care of me. And He has. It is so remarkable all the things He has accomplished during this time. To begin with, if the tumor had been anywhere else on my body I probably would not have found it for a long time. Because it was on my face which I touch so often I found it early. He sent me to the best oncologist in the state who specializes in head and neck cancer. I am trusting Him that the lymph node biopsy is going to come back with no trace of cancer in it. It is one great miracle after another. He has strengthened my faith, answered my prayers, given me new life and touched my life in such a way that I will never be the same. I have a new and closer walk with Him. Thank you Heavenly Father, You are Awesome!
     Today has been great. I’ve had two naps, still no appetite, but that’s alright I know it will return with a vengeance. I will keep blogging for a while, at least till after I have my last check up. Maybe even through our cruise on the 24th.

10/10/11

Well, this is Dorean. Today was a really good day. She got to the hospital early this morning and with some happy juice, anesthesia and two incisions later she's good to go!! They removed a lymph node in front of her ear and some tissue from her cheek and they are sending it off to the lab but the doctor says everything looks good so far. We saw her in recovery (where she called her very attractive young male nurse "cutie pie") and she was in really good spirits. So good, they let her go home. She was very glad about that. When Donna asked her if she wanted anything to eat she said she didn't really feel hungry and that if she doesn't eat, she'll lose weight. But her throat hurt from the tubes so some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream would help. Yeah, that makes sense! Oh well, she deserves it.

I would like to take this time to thank you for all your prayers and concern. To know she is so loved has helped her. I'll let her tell you how amazed we all are by God's goodness to us but know that we still covet your prayers as we wait for the results.

10/09/11

     Another lovely Sunday has almost past. It has been a very special day with all the love and promises of prayers. A visiting husband and wife from Los Angeles came up to me after church and asked if they could lay hands on me and pray. It was very special and meant so much to me. The best part of today was that my grandson, Benjamin, was singing a special in the service this morning. We were expecting him to sing "Blessings” or  “I  Am New”  but instead he said he had written a song for his grandmother, which is me, of course. Immediately I started crying and reached down for my purse to get Kleenex because I knew it was going to move me and I was going to have a big cry. Well, I did.

     I am writing the words for you. I wish you could hear him sing it. He will be 18 next month and God has something really special in mind for Benjamin, I’m sure.

When everything goes wrong,

And everything falls apart,

When all hope seems lost,

And I’m tired of holding on,

I’m still holding,

I’m still holding on to You.

I need You now, ‘cause I can’t see through

This cloud of rain.

This restless mind, is overwhelmed

With thoughts of doubt and pain.

But I’m still holding on to you, my God,

My Refuge, you’re my Healer above.

You’re all I want and all I need,

You gave Your life and rescued me, my Savior.

‘Cause all hope is You.

So I will put my hope and trust in You.

When I’m here suffering

In all this loneliness,

When I can’t make it through,

All this darkness,

I’m still holding,

And I’m never letting go.

     If you can, remember me tomorrow. I have such peace about whatever the outcome is. I know Who my Great Physician is and there is none other like Him.

     Dorean is going to post for me tomorrow and let you know how everything went.
     Love to all.

10/08/11

     Well, if blessings come through raindrops we have had a very blessed day here in Central Florida. We had a wonderful Bible study and I could not ask for a bigger blessing. After the study Donna, Kay and I went to First Watch for lunch. The rain makes for a dull dreary day outside but inside it is wonderful. I'm surrounded by all the beautiful things God has given us over the years. We truly believe that all we have came from God. There is a story that goes with that belief, perhaps I'll tell it one of these days. I have spent the afternoon catching up on some reading and answering emails. I got an email from a dear high school friend that lives in Texas and she sent me the song that is on the address below. Just click on it and be blessed. Even if you don't like country music you will love this. She said it would make me shed tears well, it didn't, it made me do the ugly cry. I can't even remember how many times I have watched it this afternoon.  That song always brings me to tears because the words seem anointed, to me.

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=643195 

     In reading some Psalms this morning I realized something about King David. He was pretty human. Just like we are. He had his ups and downs. He sinned and asked forgiveness. He got depressed but even then he knew God was with him and protecting him. He praised the Lord with some of the most beautiful words in the Bible. He paid dearly for his sins and was denied the awesome privilege of building God's temple because he had been a man of war. He had problems with his children and his spouses. But no matter how bad it got he always knew he was in God's hands. I have gotten to know King David better and I think it would have been a great pleasure to know him in person. At least I will have that privilege someday. I think he would be happy to know what a blessing his life was to me.
     Tomorrow is my favorite day of the week, again. I am looking forward to the blessings God has for me and for you too.

10/7/11

     Tim and Dorean made it back this morning from their cruise. I missed them and am very happy that they are back. They had a wonderful time. Tim enjoyed the soft serve ice cream best of all. It is truly the best I’ve ever eaten. I don’t know where they get it but there is nothing like it on land.

     This evening Donna, Daniel and Kay (a lady the helps Daniel with his work) came over and Donna brought bar-b-q from Harry and Larry’s, one of our favorite eateries in Winter Garden. It was good!
     Each day for my devotions I like to listen to a sermon by R.C. Sproul, I’m in Romans now. I also read a  Proverb for the day of the month it is. There are 31 Proverbs and 31 days in some months.  I also try to get in a Psalm or two. Today I was reading Psalm 59 verses 16-17 spoke to me. David wrote this Psalm before he was king and was hiding from Saul who was hoping to kill him. He was trusting God to lead the way in the fight against his enemy. Like David I have an enemy that wants to kill me, but God is leading the way in the fight against it. David wrote:

“But I will sing of your strength;

I will sing aloud of your steadfast

love in the morning.

For you have been to me, a fortress

and a refuge in the day of my distress.

O my Strength, I will sing praises to you

for you, O God, are my fortress,

 the God who shows me steadfast love.”

     Could there be better words to describe my situation? How amazing is it that He gives us just what we need when we need it!  God bless and good night.

10/07/11

Some of you are having trouble sending me comments. If you can't get through on the blog page, here is my e-mail address and you can sent it that way. angel8mmj@gmail.com I can't wait to hear from you.
God bless.

10/6/11

For my post today I thought I would write a few of my prayers and answers to prayers

from my prayer journal. Starting with the day the tumor was removed in the Dermatologist office.

9/12/11

     Tumor was removed from cheek. Praying for God’s will and His grace for whatever the outcome is. Praying to know God better to feel His presence stronger in my life.
Romans 8:35, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?”ASV
Romans 8:38, 39, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ASV

9/19/11

     Report from biopsy-Merkel Cell Carcinoma-not good news but God is answering prayer of 9/12. Amen and amen. All is working to Your glory, Lord!
Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”ASV

9/20/11

     May Your good pleasure be to heal me. I am prepared to accept the other outcome.
Philippians 2:13, “...for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”ASV

9/23/11

 I Peter 5:10, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” ESV
     Lord, do I dare to claim this verse for healing? I just don’t know. I have resisted believing You will heal me because I can’t help but ask, “Why should I be healed when others haven’t been?”
After prayers concerning this verse and many tears I will name it and claim it.

9/30/11

     Lord, I do not want to lose this joy and peace you have given me. Do I need tribulation to keep it? So be it, Lord. This joy is worth it. The peace, the feeling of moving along, being carried by the very hand of God. On 9/12 I prayed to know You better and look what He sent to me to answer that prayer. What will He send to answer this prayer?
Philippians 4:6, 7, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with   thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ASV

10/05/11

     It is amazing what God has chosen to teach me during this time of testing. Things that I have been trying to deal with most of my life have been covered by His love and grace. 

     Everyone who knows me knows my childhood was less that desirable. So I guess that‘s why the words to the song “I Am New” has affected me so strongly. I had a real epiphany the other day. The words that touched me most strongly are: I’m dearly loved, beloved, accepted and worthy. These are the things that I did not have during my childhood and have so desperately needed and desired all my life. God has given me those things but I had not felt it in my being until I heard those words. I no longer have that void in my spirit for God was always there with His love and acceptance and counting me worthy. I just was not trusting and open enough to feel it in my heart. You can not imagine what a change this has made in me. What my earthly father never gave me, my Heavenly Father has given me in abundance. God’s word is full of the truth of this.
     Somehow music reaches me in a place that nothing else can. Perhaps that may be true for everyone and that’s why it is so important to have good music in your life. Music is a great learning tool. If you can put a list of facts to a tune you can remember it so much easier. Did you ever learn the books of the Bible to a little tune? You never forgot them did you? I often sing it to myself if I am looking for one of those books that is hard to find.
     So, once again, God has provided my desires.
    “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 
Psalm 37:4 Good night.

10/04/12

Well, it was a busy morning. It was Deanna's turn to drive Mom to the doctors We started at MD Anderson Cancer Center at 8:45 where I filled out more papers and answered more questions. I had a consultation with my surgeon, Dr. Shellenberger. He said the chest x-ray was fine. Then he goes into detail about the procedure. I will start off in Nuclear Medicine where they will do something called a Sentinel Lymph Node Procedure. My neck will be deadened and dye shot into my lymph nodes. If there is a suspicious node it will be biopsied while I am in surgery. He told me about the surgery, but I won't bore you with those details. I'll stay at ORMC for Monday night and go home some time Tuesday. We left there and had to go to the admitting. This was a 2 hour procedure where I answered many, many questions and gave them three vials of my hard earned blood. We got home around 2:30
(after going to BJ's Brewhouse for lunch.)
     I'm going to ask my friends not to come to the hospital on Monday after surgery. I know you love me but I will just be drugged up and probably won't have my make up on and I wouldn't  want to scare you off. I will be going home on Tuesday so that evening may be a better time. I won't think any less of you if you don't come at all. I'll see most of you on Sunday anyway.
     God is still blessing me so much. Deanna and I had such a great conversation over lunch talking about the Lord and all He has done for this whole family. It is truly a blessing to be able to discuss things of the Lord with my daughters. He is beyond awesome!Good night and love to all of you who read this.

10/03/11
     Tonight I am writing about the song I posted on 10/01. I love the song and the words a very special to me. I particularly get a blessing out of the end of the song that says, "Thank you,God, that I am:
forgiven (Colossians 2:13), beloved (Colossians 3:12), hidden in Christ (I Peter 3:4), made in the image of the Giver of Life (Genesis 1:26), righteous (Romans 5:19), holy (I Peter 2:9) reborn (John 3:16), remade (II Corinthians 5:17), accepted (Ephesians 1:6), worthy (II Thessalonians 1:5).
     According to Him I am all these things and so are you if He is your Lord. What a blessing to be among other things beloved, righteous, holy, accepted and worthy. Is it any wonder that we love Him and want to please Him everyday?
     I hope these words come alive to you as they have to me.
     God bless.

10/02/11

     Today was my favorite day of the week, Sunday. I love so many things about this day. Being with friends, singing beautiful songs about the Lord, hearing great message and, of course, Sunday dinner at a restaurant. (No cleaning up.)
     We got to take a nap, I don't know why but I have always loved naps. Maybe because I'm not the best sleeper at night. Having a cat and dog in the bed with us may have something to do with that. The dog (Annie) is under the covers and comes out occasionally and has to shake her coat back into shape. Then after awhile she goes back under and pulls the covers with her. The cat (Sassy) sleeps at the right side of my head and shares my pillow with me. It seems like she is using more and more of the pillow so I find myself way to the right, almost in the middle of the bed. Thankfully, we have a big bed. Our pets are the luckiest ones I know of. But they make up for the inconvenience by loving us and looking so cute.
     Our Bible Study in the evening is my most favorite thing about Sunday. It is at our house, and the most wonderful people come and we have a grand time doing a verse by verse study of Exodus. Tonight we got Moses back to Egypt and before Pharaoh . "Let my people go" said Moses, "No," said Pharoah, but you probably know the story.
     Dorean and Tim came over later and we had a great discussion about Reform Theology. When they left Billy and I popped corn and watched some TV.
     Today I was able to experience the love and concern of dear people that I love. Our fellowship has a closeness that one doesn't find often. I truly treasure it and thank God for it.
     There was a quote by Randy Alcorn on our screen at church this morning and I think Carol might have used it for me and Carol Hotz who is suffering from thyroid tumor and they haven't found out if it is benign or not. I'm going to close with Randy's quote.
     "Suffering while trusting God gives us eternal benefits that otherwise couldn't be ours, enlarging our capacity for eternal joy!" Amen and amen.
    

10/1/11

     It was a fun day. I went to see a basketball game with Dorean, Amanda and Michael. McKenzie my little almost 5 year old great-granddaughter was a cheer leader. All the kids were 4, 5 and 6 years old. If you haven't seen little boys that age play basketball you have really missed something. Their coaches ran up and down the court with them telling them where to go when to shoot and which end of the court to play on. It was 1/2 court with short periods. Even their ball was smaller. The hoops were lower and they had on their little basketball uniforms. Too cute! The cheer leaders, of which McKenzie was the cutest, had their little cheer leading uniforms and pom poms. They did a pretty good job, even had some real cheers to do.
     I want to leave you with a song tonight. It has excited me more than any song in a long while. The words are amazing and so meaningful. I feel that "I Am New" also. What God has brought me through has made a new person of me. Listen closely to the words. Enjoy!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9bjPwwLgj0